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Now: News…

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

Table of Contents

• $56m Payout in eBay Stalking Scandal

• Three Businesses That Survived 250+ Years

• Elon Musk Is Just a Regular Multi-Billionaire Now

• Your Streaming Apps Are Basically Cable Now

• Apple Suggests You Rent Your Next iPhone

• Poll of the Day: iPhone, MyPhone, YourPhone

• Poll of the Day: Meta Will Be Okay in Court

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 1.52% )  $DJI ( ▼ 2.19% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

$EBAY ( ▼ 1.82% )  $SPCX ( ▼ 3.32% )  $TSLA ( ▼ 2.97% )  $AAPL ( ▼ 0.56% )  $KLAR ( ▼ 0.48% )  

$56m Payout in eBay Stalking Scandal

Ever get a bad review at work and think, I should really mail that person a bloody pig’s head? No? Congratulations, you are officially more well-adjusted than the former executive leadership of eBay $EBAY ( ▼ 1.82% ) .

In a masterclass on how not to handle public relations, eBay and its former top executives will pay out $55.7 million to resolve a lawsuit involving a truly unhinged stalking and harassment campaign. The targets of this multi-million dollar corporate meltdown? David and Ina Steiner, a couple who had the absolute audacity to publish an online e-commerce blog, Ecommercebytes, that was mildly critical of the company.

Apparently, handling press criticism via standard PR channels was simply too boring for eBay's leadership in early 2019. Court documents reveal that then-chief executive Devin Wenig texted another executive, deciding it was time to “crush” Ina Steiner and “take her down.”

How does a Fortune 500 company interpret "crush"? By physically mailing the couple a box of live cockroaches, a funeral wreath, and a helpful little book about surviving spousal bereavement. Just in case that wasn't subtle enough, employees also stalked them around their hometown, shipped pornographic magazines to their neighbors in David's name, and posted online invitations for strangers to visit the couple's home for sex. Standard C-suite problem-solving!

Fortunately, the law caught up to this mafia-meets-frat-house behavior. Seven eBay employees were sentenced to prison, and under this settlement, the Steiners will walk away with $48.7 million in compensation.

In a statement, eBay admitted the campaign "was wrong, reprehensible, and should never have happened," while acknowledging the "unprofessional tone in internal communications." Ah yes, "unprofessional tone" — the best euphemism for orchestrating a psychopathic stalking ring.

Quote of the Day

Three Businesses That Survived 250+ Years

As America gears up to celebrate its 250th birthday, we’re all forced to reflect on our nation's relatively brief, chaotic lifespan. But honestly? A quarter of a millennium is cute. Let’s talk about three local businesses that have been hustling since before the Founding Fathers even drafted their first angry letter to the King…

First up is Saunderskill Farms in upstate New York, which has been growing crops since 1680. That’s right — 96 years before the Declaration of Independence was signed, and 52 years before George Washington was even born. Twelve generations later, the family is still working the exact same 300 acres. How do you survive that long without the family business collapsing? By evolving. The newest generation's Renee Ciardi credits her family's survival to adaptability, noting they are "constantly thinking of the trend and what's changing" instead of stubbornly "doing things the way that they've always done it." Basically, they realized they couldn't just milk cows forever and embraced selling direct-to-consumer baked goods.

Down in Manhattan, nestled among soul-crushing glass skyscrapers, sits Fraunces Tavern, established in 1762. It’s where George Washington delivered his farewell address to his officers. Current owner Eddie Travers miraculously resisted the urge to turn the place into a tacky theme park. "We never wanted to go over touristy on it," Travers explained. "Nobody's wearing wigs or anything like that." Thank God.

Finally, there’s Bowne & Co. Stationers, printing away since 1775. Once a titan of printing stock certificates and cargo invoices, they now print bespoke stationery and posters. Shop runner Rob Wilson isn't worried about our screen-obsessed era. He remains optimistic about "the ability to like write on a piece of paper, to like feel something that feels real," noting that "an experience that's never gonna go away."

Elon Musk Is Just a Regular Multi-Billionaire Now

It’s a tough week to be a tech overlord. After a market reality check, Elon Musk is officially no longer a trillionaire. Since its IPO in June, SpaceX $SPCX ( ▼ 3.32% ) has lost 50% of its value from its initial high, leaving us all to wonder: Are the cracks in the Musk Empire finally starting to show?

Let’s check in on Tesla $TSLA ( ▼ 2.97% ) . The company just posted negative cash flow for the first time in two years thanks to massive spending sprees. Why? Because actually focusing on their core electric vehicle business is apparently so 2018. According to Wall Street Journal reporter Becky Peterson, "Tesla isn't trying to be the world's biggest EV maker anymore. They're trying to beat robotics, [and] artificial intelligence."

Instead of prioritizing actual car sales, Elon is pitching investors on a revolutionary fleet of autonomous robotaxis. The reality? The product is only available in seven cities, and you can hardly even get one to pick you up in tech hubs like Austin or San Francisco.

Then there’s The Boring Company, an enterprise with barely any revenue that is somehow in talks for a staggering $20 billion valuation. Apparently, investors are just desperately chasing the "Musk bump," throwing money at a literal tunnel digger and hoping it magically yields massive returns.

But Wall Street might finally be waking up from its sci-fi fever dream. As Peterson incisively notes, "there's a gap between how Elon speaks about the future and how quickly things get done," and investors are starting to suffer from "a fatigue from waiting." When your entire business model heavily relies on selling tickets to a utopian future that’s always just one more year away, eventually, people are going to start asking for a refund.

Song of the Day: Chloe Qisha, ‘Baby Girl’

"Baby Girl" is a funk and disco-infused alt-pop single by Malaysian singer-songwriter Chloe Qisha, released last week via Columbia Records and RCA Records. Full of relatable lyrics about modern attraction, it’s a lot like this newsletter.

Your Streaming Apps Are Basically Cable Now

Remember when we all smugly “cut the cord,” convinced we had outsmarted the cable monopolies by subscribing to a single $8 streaming service? Well, the joke is on us. Welcome to the new era of television, where the ultimate disruption looks exactly like the thing we just disrupted.

As media conglomerates panic over shrinking profit margins, they are frantically reorganizing. Take Comcast, which is currently busy breaking itself into three separate pieces just to stay nimble. According to Variety Senior TV Editor Brian Steinberg, the traditional networks are sweating as tech companies invade their turf, noting that "you have NBC, CBS, ABC that are just no longer as giants as they once were.”

It turns out that giving consumers infinite choice doesn't actually make financial sense. Streamers are finally realizing that catering to everyone at all hours is a terrible business model. As Steinberg sums up the industry's harsh reality: "I can't make money off three people watching, you know, a Seinfeld repeat at one in the morning.”

So, what's the grand solution to this streaming crisis? Reinventing traditional television. Prepare to say goodbye to the glorious binge-watch and ad-free nirvana. Steinberg predicts, "I think you're going to see streaming come more like TV with more ad breaks" and episodes doled out "week by week rather than all the episodes dropping at once.”

Meanwhile, live sports remain the only thing holding the entire ecosystem together. "Sports is the currency of the market right now," Steinberg notes, as it’s the only programming left that can force a massive, simultaneous crowd to actually sit through a commercial.

So, congratulations! You've successfully escaped the $100 cable bundle. Now, you can look forward to paying $150 across 12 different apps to wait a week for the next episode — with ad breaks. This is progress.

Apple Suggests You Rent Your Next iPhone

Ever look at your impossibly expensive smartphone and think, I wish I could treat this like a timeshare? Well, you’re in luck! Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.56% )  is teaming up with the deferred payment processor Klarna $KLAR ( ▼ 0.48% )  to launch a new lease-to-own program dubbed "Apple Upgrade." Prices for iPhones should start around $17.99 a month.

Starting July 28, you can slowly drip-feed your paycheck to Apple for the privilege of holding a device you don't actually own yet. Under this generous arrangement, you can lease iPhones and Apple Watches for up to 24 months, while Macs and iPads will tie you down for up to 36 months. At the end of the term, you can keep the device (if you’re willing to make up the difference in price), return it, or upgrade to a new one.

Why the sudden pivot to a rental model? You can thank the AI bros. Apple is currently battling severe supply chain nightmares caused by "RAMageddon," an industry-wide memory chip shortage. The booming AI sector is essentially gobbling up so much memory that it’s not leaving much for the rest of us. To cope with the shortage, Apple announced it would be raising hardware prices, making this Klarna leasing scheme a strategic move to make those hiked price tags "more palatable to consumers.”

Basically, indentured servitude will soon be the only way to afford one of their devices. That’s a pessimistic take, but you know what I mean. I’ve been paying $50 a month for the last two years to buy an iPhone 16 Pro Max and honestly, I’m not sure it was really worth it given that I’ll probably trade it in for a new one soon. Like, what’s the difference between renting and owning, in that context, if you hang onto the device for the same period of time? Apart from, like, keeping an extra $500.

Apple is going through a rather chaotic transitional phase right now. Between installing new CEO John Ternus and entering a messy legal war with OpenAI $OPEAZZX ( ▼ 0.02% ) over alleged trade theft, the company has its hands full. On that basis, anything that can shore up sales and keep the business headed in the right direction is worth trying.

So go ahead, rent that shiny new iPhone! Just try not to drop it…

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Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

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Definitely not.

Poll of the Day: iPhone, MyPhone, YourPhone

Poll of the Day: Meta Will Be Okay in Court

We asked you: Do you think the $1.4 trillion in outstanding lawsuits against Meta represents a significant risk to the company?

You answered:

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Yes. Either they're going to need very expensive lawyers or they're going to need to write a lot of checks to the plaintiffs. (119)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 No. This is America. They have enough money to afford the kind of flesh-eating lawyers they'll need to minimize the risk of huge payouts. (216)
335 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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