Hello, my post-Juneteenth subscribers!

Did you enjoy a day off yesterday commemorating the end of slavery in the United States? Great news! While you were out, we’ve replaced your position with a robotaxi dressed up like Liam Neeson, and paid $15 an hour. Kidding. You’re irreplaceable. Just like me. I hope. Right? RIGHT?!?

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

P.S. Sorry to the very few of you who received this email early, in error, on Wednesday night! Somebody has fat fingers, and it’s THIS GUY.

News You Need2Know

• New Amazon factory will make tons of robotaxis

• Song of the day: Robot Rock

• Liam Neeson to star in 'Naked Gun' reboot. OK?

• Republican pushes for $15 minimum wage LOL

• Go Fund Yourself!

• Trump issues third extension for TikTok sale

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

 $UBER ( ▲ 2.44% )  $LYFT ( ▲ 1.86% )  $AMZN ( ▲ 2.42% )  $TSLA ( ▼ 0.54% )  

New Amazon factory will make tons of robotaxis

If you drive an $UBER ( ▲ 2.44% ) or a $LYFT ( ▲ 1.86% ) or a taxi of any sort for a living, this is the day to start looking for another source of employment. Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 2.42% ) has unveiled its ambitious plans to mass-produce weird-looking robotaxis 👆🏻 through its weirdly named subsidiary, Zoox, aiming to deliver 10,000 bizarro vehicles annually by the crazypants year of 2027. The kooky vehicles will be kookily manufactured in Hayward, a (let’s say) unremarkable California town, at a new 220,000-square-foot facility that has been retrofitted from a former bus factory.

Zoox, acquired by Amazon in 2018 for a mere $1.2 billion, has designed a boxy, gondola-esque robotaxi without a steering wheel, providing a distinct alternative to Waymo’s self-driving cars, which look more like, uh, cars. Zoox’s’s CEO Aicha Evans emphasizooxed Zoox's strategy for operational scale, sharing: “By next year, we hope to be churning them out at the rate of three vehicles per hour.” The company plans to initially deploy its fleet in Las Vegas and San Francisco before expanding to cities like Miami, Los Angeles, and Atlanta.

While Zoox remains behind Waymo, which boasts over 10 million paid rides, it is positioning its ride-share service to cater to small and large markets. Despite, let’s say, challenges like “a minor collision between a Zoox robotaxi and a person riding an electric scooter” and reliance on imported parts, Zoox represents Amazon's bold entry into the robotaxi market, underscoring its competitive ambitions against both Waymo and of course, another main rival, Tesla $TSLA ( ▼ 0.54% )  

Song of the day: Robot Rock

Critics found the lead single from Daft Punk’s third studio album, Human After All, overly repetitive back in 2005. Critics found the lead single from Daft Punk’s third studio album, Human After All, overly repetitive back in 2005. Critics found the lead single from Daft Punk’s third studio album, Human After All, overly repetitive back in 2005. A mere 59 million people have now watched the Youtube video or a total of 336 years.

Liam Neeson to star in 'Naked Gun' reboot. OK?

When I was growing up, my friend Duncan’s recently divorced dad let us watch the “Naked Gun” movie (from the creators of “Police Squad”) while he chain-smoked little Hamlet cigars. They were advertised on television back when that was legal. I loved the ads and in my early twenties even went to work as a runner for the production agency that produced them.

Where were we? “Police Squad!”

I remember laughing heartily at Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen play Lt. Frank Drebin while Duncan’s dad did his best not to be too obviously depressed. It certainly cheered me up, so I have fond memories of the show. The jokes just landed.

Liam Neeson is not an obvious choice to play Drebin’s son in a reboot of the franchise. Since he was typecast as a revenge maniac in movies like “Taken,” it’s a tall order for him to be funny, which he admits. He now co-stars with Pamela Anderson and Busta Rhymes.

You probably have your own Police Squad memories and doubts about the reboot. I’m eager to hear both. The studio is evidently giving us six weeks to get used to the idea as it premieres August 1. But early consensus seems to be that it could be just what’s needed to distract humanity from Duncan’s dad’s divorce whatever this summer turns into.

Today on the ‘gram: It’s like a ‘Star Wars’ thing

Post of the day: Journalism, surprisingly

Quote of the Day

Republican pushes for $15 minimum wage LOL

Perhaps at some point in the far distant future it’s possible we’ll have a presidential primary again, and at that point, my guess is, both parties are going to need a crop of candidates who can give a compelling answer to the question “What exactly were you doing in June of 2025?”

Senator Josh Hawley of Missouri is going to try to answer that question by saying “stealing a beloved policy from the left and trying to get it through Congress.”

I would love to hate on the man but it turns out his bill, to raise the federal minimum wage from $7.25 to $15, reflects both evolving economic realities and public sentiment. As Rebekah “Means of Production” Paxton, research director at the conservative Employment Policies Institute, notes, “Given the fact that it’s a Republican leading this legislation, there’s certainly a different tone here, and a different group of people thinking about it than in the past.”

The current federal minimum wage, unchanged since 2009, has depreciated in value due to inflation, and we all know whose fault that is. Workers earning $7.25 today would need $10.82 to match the buying power they had 16 years ago. Hawley acknowledged this erosion, stating, “This bipartisan legislation would ensure that workers across America benefit from higher wages.”

While workers in 31 states already earn above the federal minimum, a nationwide $15 wage would level the playing field, especially in states like Missouri, where a $15 minimum will take effect next year. While economists like Ben “I Just Met Her!“ Zipperer of the Economic Policy Institute argue the hike would significantly benefit underpaid workers, others warn of potential job losses. As Paxton said: “Yes, it could boost wages, but it also could kill jobs for a sizable part of the workforce.” 

Especially for taxi drivers. Say, how much do those Waymo robotaxis earn per hour, anyhow? And can you tip them?Seriously though, who else wants to come to Barcelona?

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

No. War. Etc.

Go Fund Yourself!

If I were producing an entrepreneurial investment show exclusively for Cheddar I would give it a name that made people chuckle. And it turns out that is why I should produce shows for Cheddar because our new show is called “Go Fund Yourself!” and I couldn’t have done better myself. Also: I am not one of the show’s producers.

Seriously. "GoFundYourself" is an interactive TV show where entrepreneurs pitch their businesses to a panel of "titans" and to viewers. The show’s mission is democratize investment opportunities and empower entrepreneurs with fair fundraising terms.

In this week’s edition, Peter Reese of Energy Relief introduces solar roofing solutions, highlighting their affordability and ease of installation. Then Dr. Nicholas Fratt-Antonio presents iBite, a discreet tracking device installed on a tooth, aimed at personal safety for children and other vulnerable individuals like my mom. That does sound pretty cool, to be fair.

Trump issues third extension for TikTok sale

Do you remember when anyone cared about TikTok and whether it was a national security risk? Me either. Right now I suspect many of us are too busy Googling “bunker buster” and “Iran,” along with “is there a country I could escape World War Three to, but that doesn’t hate Americans?”

It’s called Thailand, apparently. My father-in-law just came back from a trip there and is off again for another trip shortly.

Oh, wait, they’re enmeshed in a nasty border dispute with Cambodia.

Anyway, President Trump is poised to extend TikTok’s reprieve from a U.S. ban for a third time this year, granting the popular video app another 90 days to “restructure” its “ownership” and “address” national security “concerns.” The decision delays TikTok’s compliance deadline to mid-September. The extension is part of ongoing trade negotiations with China.

The federal law requiring TikTok to alter its ownership structure was passed by Congress with bipartisan support and upheld by the Supreme Court earlier this year. TikTok’s current Chinese owner, ByteDance, faces scrutiny over fears it could transfer sensitive U.S. user data to Beijing or influence public opinions through its algorithms. Despite these concerns, Trump has provided the app with unexpected lifelines. Reports say his recent change in stance could be attributed to a donor with a significant stake in ByteDance and his growing popularity on the platform.

What do you think?

The repeated delays have frustrated some lawmakers. A group of Democratic lawmakers wrote a letter to President Trump this month — I’m sure he’s quaking in his shoes —seeking clarity on his plans for TikTok and DeepSeek, the Chinese AI start-up. The lawmakers said TikTok and DeepSeek “raise legitimate and well-documented security concerns,” and sought more information on what they called “the advantageous treatment of foreign technology with ties to the Chinese Communist Party.”

Poll of the Day: 👍🏽 or 👎🏻?

Poll Results: Chase Sapphire Reservations

We asked: Is $795 worth it for the Chase Sapphire Reserve credit card?

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Obviously not, but I expect some idiots will continue to pay the fee regardless. (765 votes)

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! You have no idea the brand loyalty for this card. You get three times the points in restaurants! (58 votes)

…which puts yours truly in the elitist minority, just where I love to be.

823 votes via @beehiiv polls