This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how Iran moved billions of dollars through crypto exchange Binance $BNB ( ▼ 2.97% )  to fund its regime, continuing into this month, despite repeated red flags. Binance says it has “zero tolerance for illicit activity.” Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday (TODAY!), for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

And now? News!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• BP’s fired chairman strikes back

• Robinhood lets you use AI to trade stocks 🤖

• Silicon Valley AI leaders ignore pope’s concerns

• Why your NYC hotel room just got more $$$

• JPMorgan chief is itching to spend $20B

• Poll of the day: Agency issues

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.02% ) $DJI ( ▲ 0.36% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$BP ( ▼ 2.35% )  $HOOD ( ▲ 2.89% )  $JPM ( ▼ 2.43% )  

BP’s fired chairman strikes back

Albert Manifold, the very recently ousted chairman of British energy giant BP $BP ( ▼ 2.35% ) , is pushing back against his abrupt dismissal. Less than a year into his tenure, BP's board, including CEO Meg O'Neill, fired Manifold, citing "serious concerns" over his leadership and "governance oversight and conduct issues it deems unacceptable.” Unnamed insiders alleged a "shouty" management style, multiple whistleblower complaints of "bullying," and the unauthorized use of personal devices for company business.

However, Manifold is not going quietly. Claiming the decision came completely "out of the blue," he told Bloomberg he was "removed without warning and without explanation," which sounds to me like he might be getting ready to sue. Defending his record, Manifold argued that he had actively worked to "drive genuine change at BP — cutting costs, challenging excess, and holding the organization to higher standards." He vehemently denied the board's narrative and vowed to fight the allegations. “I dispute entirely the characterization of my conduct, and I will not allow a false narrative to go unchallenged,” he said.

Quote of the Day

Robinhood lets you use AI to trade stocks 🤖

Robinhood $HOOD ( ▲ 2.89% ) is taking retail investing to the next level by allowing customers to hand over their stock trading and credit-card purchases to AI. Users can now link popular AI agents, such as Anthropic’s Claude or the coding agent Cursor, directly to a dedicated investment account. Once connected, the AI can independently execute trades based on the user's highly specific instructions, like monitoring semiconductor stocks or analyzing startup funding to identify private-market trends.

While the feature currently only supports stock trades, Robinhood plans to expand it to include options and crypto capabilities in the future. To ensure safety, investors receive real-time push notifications for every trade made by the AI and maintain the power to disconnect the agent at any moment.

Beyond investing, customers can also connect an AI agent to a virtual version of their Robinhood credit card. This allows the AI to autonomously hunt for bargains, book flights, or snag hard-to-get restaurant reservations. Users can still impose strict spending limits or require manual approval for purchases, however.

Are you ready to hand your credit card and investment decisions over to a robot? Let us know in today’s poll!

Silicon Valley AI leaders ignore pope’s concerns

Pope Leo XIV released a 42,300-word encyclical titled “Magnifica Humanitas,” pleading with global leaders to regulate AI and protect human workers, this weekend. He warned the tech industry against trying to outdo God, invoking the biblical story of the Tower of Babel. However, Silicon Valley’s top technologists are largely brushing off the spiritual leader's concerns.

Jeremy Nixon, a prominent figure in San Francisco's AI scene, dismissed the Vatican's letter entirely. “It did not seem like the church had thought deeply about what their independent perspective was on AI,” he told the New York Times, adding, “They couldn’t have a position on it, because they don’t understand it.” Prominent investor David Sacks also rejected the Pope's call for regulation, questioning how such rules could be prevented from being used to “censor, surveil, and control citizens — as Orwell foretold in ‘1984’”

The fundamental divide was perhaps best highlighted at the Vatican itself. While the Pope insisted AI cannot feel "joy or pain," Anthropic co-founder Christopher Olah told the audience that researchers have found "internal states that functionally mirror joy, satisfaction, fear, grief, and unease" within the technology. Ultimately, the tech elite remain unphased, with many researchers striving to build a "machine God" rather than heeding the Vatican's warnings.

I’m sure this will all end well. Aren’t you?

Song of the Day: Lola Young, ‘From Down Here’

Here’s a cool song about what it’s like to be depressed by bipolar artist Lola Young.

Why your NYC hotel room just got more $$$

If you’re planning a trip to the Big Apple, prepare to pay a premium for your stay. New York City already boasts the most expensive non-resort hotel rooms in the nation, with daily rates averaging $334 last year. Now, those prices are guaranteed to climb even higher.

The reason? Hotel owners recently agreed to the most expensive union contract in the industry's history. This landmark deal will hike hourly wages for most hotel workers by an astonishing 50 percent over the next eight years, setting housekeepers on track to earn six-figure salaries by 2032. Consequently, hotel property-operation costs are projected to surge by an estimated 15 percent.

Faced with these mounting expenses, hoteliers are passing the financial burden directly to travelers. As David Sherwyn from Cornell University told the Wall Street Journal, “The only way to maintain your profit when your costs go up is to keep raising your rates.”

Owners signed the deal to avoid a crippling strike just before the FIFA World Cup kickoff next month. However, with early June World Cup bookings trailing expectations, everyday tourists and affluent travelers will be the ones (ahem) footing the bill.

JPMorgan chief is itching to spend $20B

JPMorgan Chase $JPM ( ▼ 2.43% ) CEO Jamie Dimon has got $20 billion burning a hole in his pocket, yesterday floating the idea of spending that much on a new acquisition. This potential shopping spree is fueled by the Trump administration's lighter regulatory approach to Wall Street, which has freed up between $40 billion and $50 billion in excess capital for the banking giant.

Speaking at an industry conference, Dimon said, "I do think there might be, in the next couple years, a chance to put $10 or $20bn to work buying something." However, the chief executive stressed that the bank will not rush into a deal just because it has the cash. Dimon cautioned that market prices currently remain high and emphasized that the bank is patient, stating that their capital is "not burning a hole in our pocket at all.”

While Dimon did not specify which type of company JPMorgan is eyeing, U.S. law restricts the firm from purchasing another deposit-taking institution since it already controls over 10 percent of the country's deposits. Still, Dimon is highly optimistic about the current financial landscape, noting that the mergers and acquisitions environment is the best the industry has seen in years.

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Should you check your 401(k) today?

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No.

Poll of the day: Agency issues

Poll of the day: Luce lips sink ships

We asked: “Is the new $640,000 glass-clad electric Ferrari Luce a bold leap into the future or an insult to the marque's legendary heritage?”

You answered:

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ This car is an absolute insult to the marque. Ferrari is risking destroying a legend with this polarizing electric design. I agree with the former chairman: If people copy it, they should at least remove the iconic prancing horse. (65)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I love that Ferrari teamed up with Apple alum Jony Ive to push boundaries. The five-seat layout and the all-glass upper half feel incredibly innovative. It successfully blends analog physical controls with cutting-edge digital technology. (33)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ It feels like a gimmick. Pumping fake, amplified electric motor noises out onto the street — which the company likens to playing an electric guitar — is simply absurd. A true Ferrari needs a real combustion engine, not a $640,000 artificial sound system. (133)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Whether traditional fans like it or not is irrelevant. Ferrari only needs to appeal to wealthy tech entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley to fill their order books. It’s a polarizing strategy, but their limited production volume protects their high profit. (170)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ The design doesn't look like a typical sports car, but the performance is undeniably Ferrari. Hitting 60 miles per hour in under 2.5 seconds with four motors is thrilling, even if the 330-mile battery range is somewhat underwhelming. (34)

435 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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