Sponsored by

Pick a winner in this week’s world-famous-news-haiku-competition™ in today’s poll below. Now: News…

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

Table of Contents

• DeepMind CEO Steps Down to Become Chair

• Silicon Valley’s Richest Escape to New Zealand

• Airlines Push Back on ICE Enforcement

• Biggest Law Firms Explore Private Equity Stakes

• Why We Love to Use AI to Read Medical Tests

• Poll of the Day: It’s World-Famous-575™ Time

• Poll of the Day: Musk to the Rescue!

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.18% )  $DJI ( ▼ 0.85% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

$GOOGL ( ▼ 1.29% )  $ANTHZZX ( ▼ 0.21% )  $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 0.14% )  $LUV ( ▼ 3.79% )  $JBLU ( ▼ 2.67% )  

DeepMind CEO Steps Down to Become Chair

How do you tell the world you’re tired of day-to-day management without sounding like you’re just eager for an extended holiday? Simple. You announce you're stepping down as CEO of Google DeepMind to focus on the "big picture" and "actively shaping the future of Artificial General Intelligance (AGI)."

Sir Demis Hassabis (pictured above) has gracefully executed the ultimate corporate pivot: Moving from CEO to chair of DeepMind, while simultaneously picking up the title of Chief Scientist at parent company Alphabet. Google’s stock $GOOGL ( ▼ 1.29% )  promptly fell 5% on the announcement, proving that investors prefer their AI prodigies chained to their desks rather than contemplating the infinite.

But Hassabis is thinking about humanity. As he told his staff, "We have arrived at a pivotal moment in human history... I feel it is close at hand." To ensure advanced AI doesn't go awry, he’s shifting to the role of "AI statesman." Biographer Sebastian Mallaby noted to the Financial Times, "DeepMind’s mission has always been to solve AGI... The solving AGI piece is pretty much done. So it makes sense that Demis is shifting his energy from the science to the social impact."

Or, does it? His departure is likely due to delays in releasing flagship model updates alongside competitive pressures from rivals like OpenAI $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 0.14% ) and Anthropic $ANTHZZX ( ▼ 0.21% ) .

Now that the hard part of inventing human-obsoleting intelligence is "pretty much done," Demis gets to be the adult in the room. Hassabis warned, "It’s critical that we collectively get the next steps right." Translation: Good luck.

Quote of the Day

Silicon Valley’s Richest Escape to New Zealand

With a billionaires’ tax looming on the November ballot, California’s ultra-wealthy have found the ultimate new status symbol: A New Zealand “golden visa.” For a minimum investment of NZ$5 million, which I assume is about $3 in winning American money, wealthy foreigners are snapping up the right to live, work, and study in New Zealand indefinitely. As venture capitalist Lachlan Nixon noted to the Financial Times, “It is becoming a badge of honor in Silicon Valley.”

I guess the rest of us can cross New Zealand off a list of places we ever want to see, now, too. Just watch the Lord of the Rings movies and call it good, yeah?

On the ground in the gorgeous mountain town of Queenstown, locals refer to these elusive tech titans as “sleepers in the hills.” Property agent Jo Eddington observed, “There’s a lot of billionaires here. They just wear gumboots.” 

Of course, some locals are skeptical of this billionaire invasion. Sam Stubbs, managing director of pension fund Simplicity, dryly points out, “Paradise has a price, the same price the rest of us pay.” On the other hand, Rocket Lab founder Sir Peter Beck thinks the country is practically giving itself away, arguing that “the country is underselling itself” with its NZ$5 million threshold. Again, I assume that’s about $3 in winning American money. (It’s $3 million USD, Matt. Try looking up the occasional fact —Ed.)

But the true comedy comes from the visa holders themselves, who are already complaining about local regulations and tax rules. Santa Barbara VC Courtney Andelman admits that “there’s something magic in the air” in New Zealand, but she’s already warned the Prime Minister that she might take her capital elsewhere if New Zealand tries to tax her global earnings. “If New Zealand doesn’t provide the best value then we’ll go somewhere else,” she threatened. “Every one of those dollars is mobile.”

Good job, New Zealand. You wanted their capital, but you also got their personalities and quite honestly, you can keep ‘em. Really.

Airlines Push Back on ICE Enforcement

If you thought navigating TSA, paying extra to check a carry-on, and surviving a middle seat to Orlando was the peak of airport drama, think again. The Department of Homeland Security has introduced a spicy new layer to your travel experience: Federal immigration agents patrolling jet bridges.

Last month, a tense scene unfolded in Dallas when an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agent stood near a Southwest $LUV ( ▼ 3.79% ) gate, calling out the name "David" to find a target boarding an Orlando-bound flight. But the airline gate agent, playing the role of protective corporate bouncer, refused to let the agent board the plane without a judicial warrant signed by a judge.

It turns out airlines are pushing back against being drafted as unpaid border patrol agents. In Las Vegas, a woman was arrested waiting for a JetBlue $JBLU ( ▼ 2.67% ) flight; in Denver, another was nabbed on a jet bridge. Unsurprisingly, airline staff are not thrilled about their workplaces becoming action movie sets. Sara Nelson, international president of the Association of Flight Attendants, wrote that these operations “have raised glaring workplace, safety, and legal concerns for flight attendants,” especially with agents gaining unauthorized jet bridge access.

Meanwhile, airport executives are sweating. Phil Washington, former CEO of Denver International Airport, admitted, “I’m worried about escalation — I’m worried about bystanders.” JetBlue has also denied being cooperative: “The airline has no program or partnership in place to identify or report customers based on immigration status to government agencies.”

Yet, DHS spokeswoman Lauren Bis insists they are “simply enforcing our nation’s laws and established policy.” Sure, but maybe we could do it without shouting first names at the gate like a barista who can't read a Starbucks cup?

Song of the Day: Barry Can’t Swim, ‘Dance Dance Dance’

Here’s a euphoric, sample-heavy embrace of 1970s and ‘90s French house. Critics have praised the track, produced by Edinburgh-born Joshua Mainnie, as a flamboyant, colorful evolution that trades the deeper emotional tones of earlier work for pure ebullient energy. So, it’s a lot like this newsletter.

Biggest Law Firms Explore Private Equity Stakes

Private equity has already swallowed medical practices, accountancy firms, and potentially a bit of FIFA, for a minute there. Now, they are coming for the ultimate fortress of billable hours: Big Law. Strict U.S. ethics rules have long banned non-lawyers from owning law firms. But as we all know, ethics are very 2023 these days.

Enter the “management services organization” (MSO). This clever structure splits a law firm in two: The lawyers provide actual legal advice, while a separate PE-backed MSO entity handles the administrative functions, IP, and technology. As one anonymous private equity investor put it, “There are much stricter rules on law firm ownership, [but] there are ways around, you own the side company.” The complex arrangement admittedly “makes people nervous,” but the lure of outside capital is strong.

Big Law heavyweights like Paul Weiss, Proskauer, and Quinn Emanuel (which boldly brands itself as the “world’s most-feared law firm”) have already held talks with investors or bankers, the Financial Times reports. Firms are also desperate for cash to fund AI investments and win the expensive war for rainmaker partners. Yet, nobody wants to be the guinea pig. As an MSO adviser noted, “Everyone is interested, but everyone wants to go second.” 

Reminds me of the battle to lose my virginity in Croydon circa 1995, that quote.

Sceptics worry about older partners cashing out at the expense of younger colleagues, or losing control of firm decisions. Even PE groups are wary, fearing that AI might destroy the billable hour model anyway. John Quinn, founder of most-feared-firm Quinn Emanuel, remains optimistic: “I do believe that there’s a lot of compelling reasons why these types of structures and non-lawyer ownership investment in law firms should exist,” he told the FT. But as attorney Trisha Rich warns, “Every firm needs to be able to answer the question, what are you going to do with the money?”

Why We Love to Use AI to Read Medical Tests

Waiting for your doctor to call and explain your blood work is so last decade. Thanks to a 2021 law granting instant access to medical portals, we can view our lab results in near-real-time — and immediately feed them into AI chatbots.

That’s right. Why wait for a human physician when you can get a diagnostic panic-attack at 2:00 a.m. in the comfort of your own bed?

For many, the appeal is psychological. Software engineer Megg Gawat was drawn to "the freedom of asking the chatbot a question about his results any time of day, and without judgment or embarrassment." AI is great at translating baffling medical acronyms, and it’s incredibly polite, until it isn't. When Gawat corrected ChatGPT's misreading of his low vitamin D level, the bot panicked, shifting to extreme urgency and telling him to take supplements "immediately," complete with a red siren emoji.

Doctors, understandably, are not thrilled. Internist Dr. Jason Goldman laments having to undo the AI's handiwork: “We’re trying to refute what the patients have convinced themselves that they have... You can get everything from, ‘You have a cold,’ to ‘You’re dying of cancer’.” Goldman has even had patients question his advice mid-appointment: “I’ll give them a recommendation and they’ll say, ‘Let me go ask AI,’ and I’m like, ‘Then why are you here?’”

Welcome to my world, Dr. G.

Sure, AI might confidently tell a mild cognitive-impairment patient that they have progressed to dementia (when they haven't), or claim that untested lymph nodes are probably cancer-free. But OpenAI’s $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 0.14% ) VP of health products, Ashley Alexander, boldly claims the model can “reason better than clinicians.”

So go ahead, skip the medical school debt, waive your HIPAA rights, and let Dr. Bot handle your charts. Say, you’re looking a little peaky there, pal…

Free Yourself From Advertising Forever!

Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

👍️ 

Yes.

Poll of the Day: It’s World-Famous-575™ Time

Poll of the Day: Musk to the Rescue!

We asked: Elon Musk said it won't be long before Starlink is providing the majority of the world's cellphone service. How long do you think it will take?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sure, "Elon Time" runs on a slightly delayed orbital calendar, but the man built reusable rockets and put a Tesla in space. If he says Starlink is taking over global cellular coverage, I’m getting ready for high-speed beam-downs directly to my phone. (29)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Definitely happening real soon! Just as soon as my Tesla drives me cross-country completely unsupervised while I sleep, and hyperloops connect every major city. It's queued up perfectly right behind the fleet of million-dollar autonomous robotaxis. (42)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sometime around the launch of Starship 4,000. All it takes is convincing 195 sovereign nations to hand over their spectrum rights while somehow bypassing trees, heavy rain, and basic atmospheric physics. (50)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ It will happen immediately after he fires the global telecom workforce via a late-night post, renames standard radio signals "X-Waves," and promises a cyber-tower in every backyard. (35)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Roughly around the same time pigs fly Cybertrucks. Musk’s timeline predictions have a near-zero success rate, and claiming a satellite constellation with strict bandwidth limits will replace terrestrial cell towers worldwide is pure, uncut, hot air. (184)
340 Votes via @beehiiv polls

Need2Know is covered by Cheddar’s Terms of Service

P.S. So, you remember the cheese puns that used to open this newsletter? Suffice to say, they were divisive. Now, thanks to a thing called “dynamic content options,” I can offer you the option to see cheese puns again, if you’re one of the thousands who got in touch bemoaning their departure six months ago. All you need to do is answer “true” on this survey, and submit it. If you never want to see cheese puns in this newsletter again, don’t click that link, don’t fill out the survey, don’t submit it. Just keep reading and pretend this conversation never happened. Mmmkay? Thank you.