C’est La Vie

The C’est La Vie cheese board is a nice little cheese board produced by Amelia’s Boutique in Kansas City, Missouri, and it’s only $39.95! Let’s hope it wasn’t imported from China, Canada, or Mexico, though, because if so, you might want to snag one quick before it gets a tad more expensive…

That’s life, as we all know, is also what the “people say” in Frank Sinatra’s song about “flying high in April” and being “shot down in May.” It’s a great song to sing instead of peeking at your 401(k) today for reasons that will become clear shortly.

Table of Contents

• Wall Street’s losing streak deepens as Trump’s tar …

• Scientists Genetically Engineer Mice with Thick “W …

  • Walgreens May Go Private with Sycamore Partners

  • Oscars Viewership Down 7%

• Starbucks Brings in New CFO

I’ll be back on top in June!

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

P.S. Donald Trump paused military aid to Ukraine, and you can read all about it on our ‘gram!

Quote of the Day

Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

👎

(For the love of God, no.)

Wall Street’s losing streak deepens as Trump’s tariffs kick in

Stocks tumbled on Wall Street Tuesday as a trade war between the U.S. and its key trading partners escalated, wiping out all the gains for the S&P 500 since Election Day.

The tariffs between the U.S., China, Canada, and Mexico helped extend a recent slump for U.S. stocks that was prompted by signs of weakness in the economy.

The drops follow a steep sell-off Monday. Altogether, the decline has wiped out all of the markets’ gains since President Donald Trump’s election in November. That rally had been built largely on hopes for policies from Trump that would strengthen the U.S. economy and businesses. Worries about tariffs raising consumer prices and reigniting inflation have been weighing on both the economy and Wall Street.

Imports from Canada and Mexico are now to be taxed at 25%, with Canadian energy products subject to 10% import duties. The 10% tariff that Trump placed on Chinese imports in February was doubled to 20%.

The tariffs are prompting warnings from retailers, including Target and Best Buy, as they report their latest financial results. Target slumped 5.4% despite beating Wall Street's earnings forecasts. There will be “meaningful pressure” on its profits to start the year because of tariffs and other costs.

Best Buy plunged 14.2% after giving investors a weaker-than-expected earnings forecast and warning about tariff impacts.

“International trade is critically important to our business and industry," said Best Buy CEO Corie Barry.

Scientists Genetically Engineer Mice with Thick “Woolly Mammoth” Hair

Scientists from Colossal Biosciences have achieved what might be considered a stitch in the fabric of time. They’re challenging extinction by bringing the characteristics of bygone species like the woolly mammoth into the present. That’s right. They have genetically engineered mice with dense “woolly mammoth” fur.

Woolly mammoths — the hulking behemoths that tromped across the frigid landscapes of Europe, Asia, and North America — vanished from existence around 4,000 years ago. That’s about the same time my hairline looked somewhat convincing.

Colossal Biosciences declared an audacious mission to “resurrect” the woolly mammoth through genetic engineering in 2021. By meticulously studying ancient DNA, scientists at Colossal have identified and focused on replicating key traits of extinct animals. Ben Lamm, the CEO of Colossal Biosciences, proclaimed their dedication to embed these traits into living animals, striving for a form of genetic reincarnation.

Their latest pursuit culminated in the creation of a mouse embryo, genetically edited to sport seven gene variations, which blessed its rodent bearer with long, dense fur reminiscent of the mammoth's coat. Dubbed the “colossal woolly mouse,” this creature stands as a symbol of possibility — though the results are yet to be published in a peer-reviewed journal.

Vincent Lynch, a biologist at the University at Buffalo, hailed the endeavor as "technologically pretty cool," especially considering genetic engineering in mice dates back to the 1970s. Today, CRISPR technology amplifies the efficiency and accessibility for these kinds of genetic edits.

Colossal's chief scientist, Beth Shapiro, shared that the gene variations they targeted for hair texture and fat metabolism are not new; they exist in certain mouse populations. However, Colossal's team combined all these variations into a single specimen. This meticulous selection hinged on the premise that these traits contribute to cold tolerance, a vital adaptation for survival in the arctic conditions once endured by woolly mammoths.

The "woolly mouse" might be a precursor to editing DNA of Asian elephants, the woolly mammoth's closest modern kin. With Asian elephants being an endangered species, Colossal recognizes the "red tape" and extensive processes required before proceeding with such an ambitious plan. They might have to stick with the mice for a while.

From @cheddar

Walgreens May Go Private with Sycamore Partners

Walgreens Boots Alliance is rumored to be on the cusp of a $10 billion takeover by private equity firm Sycamore Partners. Negotiations are reportedly advancing, with aspirations for a concluded agreement by Thursday. However, the specter of last-minute complications lingers, casting uncertainty over the discussions.

The proposed financial specifics are intriguing, with Sycamore Partners' bid landing between $11.30 and $11.40 per share in cash. The stock was trading at $10.84 yesterday, so that’s a chunk of extra change for investors.

The potential acquisition arrives amid turbulent times for Walgreens, a brand once synonymous with American retail success. The drugstore giant has experienced a steady erosion of its stock value over the decade, exacerbated by operational and financial strains. The announcement to shutter 1,200 stores nationwide last month paints the picture, really. With just a quarter of its sprawling 8,700 locations nationwide deemed profitable, the Chicago-based company confronts a challenging retail environment.

If “consummated,” the deal would herald a crucial pivot for Walgreens away from the glare of public market scrutiny it has been under since 1927. While Walgreens' market cap soared past $100 billion in its heyday of 2015, it's since plummeted, falling below the $8 billion mark by late 2024. That’s a lot worse than the stock market as a whole.

The stark decline reflects deeper issues, from shrinking profit margins to fierce competition, notably from CVS Health, which has successfully diversified into insurance and pharmacy benefits. Unlike CVS, Walgreens has steadfastly clung to its traditional retail pharmacy roots, even as it dabbled unsuccessfully in the realm of primary care. Under the helm of new CEO Tim Wentworth, the company has recalibrated its strategy, pruning its healthcare ventures and doubling down on cost-cutting measures. However, the shadow of operational challenges looms large, compounded by adverse legal battles, including a recent lawsuit from the Justice Department linked to the opioid crisis.

Sycamore Partners, with a portfolio including Staples and Playa Bowls, is no stranger to reviving retail and consumer brands. The firm’s interest in Walgreens signals a belief in the inherent value and potential turnaround of the pharmacy chain. Sycamore's investment strategy often involves retaining core business facets while divesting or taking public other segments. For Walgreens, this could entail a focused preservation of its U.S. retail pharmacy business coupled with strategic adjustments to its broader operational model.

In the movie “Pretty Woman,” Richard Gere was described as an “asset-stripper,” which is one very cynical term for this kind of private equity behavior. Although you’ll note that the movie was called “Pretty Woman,” not “Interesting Man.” I just want somewhere reliable to overpay for Gilette razorblades. Is that too much to ask?

Oscars Viewership Down 7%

The glittering allure of Hollywood's biggest night appears to be losing its luster. The 2025 Oscars telecast saw a notable 7% decrease in viewership, dipping to just over 18 million viewers across traditional broadcasts and online platforms. The decline comes as a surprise after three consecutive years of viewership growth, catalyzed by the immense popularity of 2024's "Barbenheimer" phenomenon.

The ratings slip, reported by Nielsen, suggests a potential shift. This year's ceremony was broadcast by ABC and streamed online by new partner, Hulu. However, Hulu's broadcasts faced significant technical issues, which undoubtedly frustrated viewers and could have contributed to some turning off the event altogether. Personally I’ve been watching “NYPD Blue” on Hulu lately, and MAN is that show well-written. He sweats when he eats!

Technical snafus during a live event as monumental as the Oscars can exacerbate viewer frustrations, prompting questions about whether the prestige of viewing the ceremony live is worth the hassle. Such experiences might push audiences towards highlights or replays, allowing them to skip the hassle and potential disappointment of technical issues.

The decline in viewership might also reflect broader cultural shifts. The tantalizing "Barbenheimer" publicity nonsense stunt of 2024 brought in viewers eager to be part of a unique cultural moment. Absent a similar hook this year, the ceremony struggled to pull in comparable numbers.

Host Conan O’Brien told the audience he loved the movie “Anora," before taking a jab at the negative publicity surrounding “Emilia Pérez” star Karla Sofía Gascón’s racist social media history.

"Little fact for you, ‘Anora’ uses the f-word 479 times,” he said. “That's three more than the record set by Karla Sofía Gascón's publicist. 'You tweeted what?!'"

Looking forward, the Academy may need to reconsider its approach to broadcasting the ceremony. Could the key to revitalizing interest in the Oscars lie in more interactive and less traditional broadcast methods, or perhaps just announce the winner from the Vatican balcony like they do when they select a new pope (I didn’t see “Conclave” yet but I gather that’s the gist), cancel the broadcast altogether, and call it good?

Wait (checks notes). They want to sell advertising. Got it.

Starbucks Brings in New CFO

Starbucks has warmly welcomed Cathy Smith to the role of Chief Financial Officer (CFO), signaling a fresh chapter in its corporate saga aimed at revitalizing the iconic brand. Smith, with record as Nordstrom’s CFO since 2023 and previous high-profile stints at Target and Walmart, is poised to inject new vigor into Starbucks' financial and strategic operations.

Brian “I commute to Seattle from San Diego by private jet” Niccol, Starbucks’ Chairman and CEO, outlined the appointment in a letter to employees, underpinning the critical role Smith is expected to play in the company's future.

Amidst sluggish sales, Starbucks, under Niccol’s leadership, is undergoing a strategic overhaul. Efforts to rejuvenate the brand include optimizing service times, simplifying the menu, and reinstating the communal coffeehouse ambiance that has been Starbucks’ hallmark. Also, they’re closing the restrooms to non-customers. That’s always helpful for fostering a real sense of community, don’t you think?

Niccol’s tenure, which began last fall, has been characterized by energetic leadership realignments aimed at streamlining decision-making processes and boosting accountability within the executive ranks. The stock is up 21% over six months, outpacing the S&P 500 by more than five times.