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Happy Thursday, N2K reader!

The subject of this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is “How to AI-Proof Your Job.” And I believe that you, yes, you, dear reader! — can craft an incredible haiku on the subject. Send me your entry — to our spiffy new email address, haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today for consideration by your Cheddar peers!

News You Need2Know

• Tesla offers self-drive subscription for $99 a mon …

  • Starting on Valentine’s Day, Tesla $TSLA will no l …

• Best of CES 2026: Get a home robot for $3K!

• Music streams hit 5 trillion in ‘25

• Saks declares bankruptcy

• The next chapter for cannabis investing

• Poll of the day: Can you make 💰 from 🌿?

• Poll result: You’re not that into fancy cooking

  • We asked: Do you feel good about the relaunch of G …

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.6% ) $DJI ( ▲ 0.84% ) $NDX ( ▲ 0.88% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$TSLA ( ▲ 0.71% )  $NVDA ( ▲ 2.98% )  $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.94% )  $SKS ( 0.0% )  

Tesla offers self-drive subscription for $99 a month

Starting on Valentine’s Day, Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 0.71% ) will no longer offer full self-driving as a one-time purchase for $8,000, but will make it available solely through a monthly $99 subscription plan. "Tesla will stop selling FSD after Feb 14," Musk wrote in a post on his social media platform X. Which is kinda what I already said but you get it.

Tesla did not disclose how many subscribers currently use the $8,000 version of the software, but my sense is it’s probably not as many as will want to use it for a fraction of the cost.

FSD is considered a cornerstone of Tesla’s ambitions in autonomous mobility and plays a critical role in Musk’s vision for a fully driverless future. Despite or because of the announcement, shares of Tesla fell over 2% on Wednesday, reflecting market uncertainty as competitors, like Alphabet’s Waymo, appear to be leading in driverless services. Waymo reported over 450,000 weekly paid rides in December 2025, with operations in cities like Austin, Phoenix, and Los Angeles.

Tesla has made strides with its robotaxi service in Austin, Texas, and ride-hailing in San Francisco, but remains behind industry leaders. Elon Musk has also faced, let’s say, consumer backlash over his outspoken right-wing politics — and of course, having a hands-free vehicle will leave both arms free to perform whatever offensive gestures you choose.

Best of CES 2026: Get a home robot for $3K!

The CES 2026 show floor in Las Vegas was decisively dominated by the convergence of AI and robotics, showcasing how these technologies are reshaping our world, from warehouses to living rooms. The robot revolution is here, and it's being led by a diverse array of impressive machines.

Boston Dynamics unveiled their new Atlas Humanoid Robot, engineered for demanding industrial work. Standing a manly six feet two inches tall, Atlas can lift up to 110 pounds — roughly four toddlers, depending on the toddlers — at max capacity and is being supercharged by a partnership with Google DeepMind $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.94% ) for enhanced general-purpose intelligence.

They're not alone in the industrial space. Humanoid is already deploying its wheeled Alpha robots in factories, leveraging NVIDIA’s $NVDA ( ▲ 2.98% ) platform for AI training. Similarly, Rich tech robotics has expanded from hospitality with its newest two-armed humanoid, DAX, designed to work alongside humans to automate "dull, dirty, and dangerous" manufacturing tasks. Just like this newsletter!

Even the Oshkosh Corporation is transforming the airport tarmac with autonomous vehicles that perform dangerous, repetitive tasks like guiding aircraft and hooking up ground power. B’gosh!

Beyond the industrial might, companion robots are creating a new frontier for human connection. Realbotics showcased human-like robots for customer service, companionship (including for seniors and autistic children), and entertainment. Finally, a Chinese startup took a different approach for the family home with their smaller, safer consumer-based humanoid, the M1, starting at $3,000, which can provide “companionship, safety control, and educational support.” Just like this newsletter!

Song of the Day: Feng, ‘Cali Crazy’

Feng is from my hometown of Croydon in Southeast London, and kicks off 2026 with "Cali Crazy," an unfiltered snapshot of a teenage rockstar moving to LA to chase his dreams, blurring fantasy and reality. Feng also directed his own music video for the single, which is the first taste of his upcoming debut album, “Weekend Rockstar.”

Music streams hit 5 trillion in ‘25

The global music surpassed 5.1 trillion streams last year — a 9.6% increase from 2024, according to Luminate’s 2025 Year-End Report. On-demand audio streams in the U.S. alone hit 1.4 trillion, up 4.6% from last year, highlighting shifting listener habits.

Surprisingly, the spotlight continues to shine on older music, with only 43% of U.S. on-demand audio streams coming from tracks released in the last five years. However, some artists proved to be exceptions. Taylor Swift’s “The Life of a Showgirl” and Morgan Wallen’s “I’m the Problem” each surpassed 5 million album-equivalent units, showcasing their continued dominance.

Christian/gospel music saw remarkable growth, defying a downward trend in streams of newer releases. Meanwhile, rock and Latin music also grew, up 6.4% and 5.2%, respectively. Latin music’s growth owes much to Bad Bunny, whose album “Debí Tirar Más Fotos” drove 2.97 billion U.S. streams.

The rise of AI “artists,” including Xania Monet and Breaking Rust, also made waves. Monet became the first AI “act” to chart on Billboard’s Hot Gospel Songs, signaling how AI is reshaping the “music” industry.

Saks declares bankruptcy

The retail world experienced shockwaves this week as Saks Global $SKS ( 0.0% ) , parent company of Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus, and Bergdorf Goodman, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. While the move signals a major restructuring due to overwhelming debt, it doesn’t mean an immediate end for these luxury retailers.

Some stores may close, especially Saks Off Fifth locations, as bankruptcy often allows retailers to exit costly leases. Good news for shoppers? This could trigger clearance sales, which already caused a flurry of excitement during last December's 85% off promotions at Saks Off Fifth in New York.

For smaller brands who supply the firm, the consequences are dire. "We’re starting off the year on the back foot," Sachin Ahluwalia of Sachin & Babi told the New York Times, after his company has faced months of unpaid invoices from Saks and Neiman Marcus. Bankruptcy puts major creditors at the front of the payment line, Doug Hand, an attorney for brands like Todd Snyder, told the Times, leaving smaller vendors often getting “pennies on the dollar.”

But some remain deluded optimistic. “People still really like to shop in actual stores,” said Marigay McKee, former (cough) president of (checks notes) Saks. Still, analysts suggest the future of department stores may resemble Europe’s luxury hubs, like Harrods in London, turning these spaces into shopping destinations rather than sprawling chains.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

No!

The next chapter for cannabis investing

The U.S. cannabis industry is at a "turning point," driven by renewed investor interest and potential federal regulatory changes, according to Dan Ahrens, COO and portfolio manager at AdvisorShares. His firm manages the largest cannabis fund, $MSOS ( ▲ 0.41% ) , and the global strategy exchange traded fund $YOLO ( ▲ 1.85% ) .

Ahrens acknowledged the sector's volatility, noting that long-term investors have "suffered a great deal of losses" over a "rough four or five years" until the more recent positive performance spurred by talk of reform — the primary catalyst is the administration's goal to reclassify cannabis from Schedule I to Schedule III. Ahrens explains this matters because cannabis companies currently face significant hurdles: they "cannot list on major exchanges in the U.S.," "can't bank," and are subject to the "very, very punitive tax regulation" known as 280E, which prevents them from deducting any business expenses.

Rescheduling could cause "a number of dominoes to fall," as Ahrens points out that "a Schedule III thing doesn't have 280E taxes." He views this as a chance for the multi-billion dollar industry to be "unleashed to a very big degree," potentially leading to "real pharma involved in using the cannabis plant for its medical purposes."

There’s a flip side, of course, which is that research recently released shows there’s little evidence for cannabis in medical use. But don’t let that stop you lighting up a big fat one.

Poll of the day: Can you make 💰 from 🌿?

Poll result: You’re not that into fancy cooking

We asked: Do you feel good about the relaunch of Gourmet Magazine?

You answered:

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Oh, yes. Sign me up! I loved it when it was owned by Condé Nast. (144)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Oh, no. It was always super snooty and I just wanted recipes to cook for my kids when I've been working all day. (194)

338 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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