Pick a winner in this week’s world-famous-news-haiku-competition™ in today’s poll below ⬇️. But first? News!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

Table of Contents

• Go to Duke, Study Math, Make Bank

• Starbucks Has Explored Buying Chipotle

• Will Tesla’s New Roadster Live Up to the Hype?

• Hot Wings from the Heavens as Matternet’s Drone D …

• What to Stream This Very Weekend

• Poll of the Day: It’s World-Famous-575™ Time

• Poll of the Day: Maybe Try Poll Dancin’?

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.47% )  $DJI ( ▲ 0.1% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

$SBUX ( ▼ 0.4% )  $CMG ( ▲ 6.21% )  $TSLA ( ▼ 0.74% )  $OPEAZZX ( ▼ 0.26% )  $MTTN ( ▼ 0.63% )  

Go to Duke, Study Math, Make Bank

Forget slaving away over computer science algorithms or practicing scales at Juilliard. If you want to make actual bank, the winning higher-ed formula is shockingly simple: major in mathematics at Duke University.

According to federal tax data analyzed by the HEA Group, four years after graduation, Duke math alumni boast a staggering median income of $297,029. That makes it the single most lucrative undergraduate program in the entire country, easily beating out Ivy League coders and Carnegie Mellon computer scientists.

To put that in perspective, graduates from the prestigious Juilliard School rake in a median of just $32,842—meaning the average American high school graduate ($34,808) earns more than a world-class classical musician four years post-grad. Defending the broader value of education, Juilliard spokeswoman Mary Caraccioli told the New York Times that “accountability frameworks should reflect the diverse ways graduates build careers and contribute to society, rather than relying on a single measure that may not accurately capture the value of their education and their potential.”

Still, most students and tuition-paying parents still expect financial payoff. As Michael Itzkowitz, founder of the HEA Group, told the Times: “Ask anyone in the U.S., no matter where they’re from, ‘Do you want to go to college and earn less than a high school graduate?’ No one will say ‘yes.’”

Put down the violin, grab a graphing calculator, and start calculating your fortune in Durham.

Quote of the Day

Starbucks Has Explored Buying Chipotle

Imagine ordering a venti iced oat milk latte and being asked if you’d like extra guac with that. In what would rank as the largest restaurant takeover in history, coffee titan Starbucks has held preliminary talks to acquire Chipotle Mexican Grill, a burrito giant boasting a $41 billion market value, the Financial Times reports.

The corporate matchmaker behind this caffeinated burrito marriage is Starbucks $SBUX ( ▼ 0.4% ) CEO Brian Niccol, who previously led Chipotle $CMG ( ▲ 6.21% ) through a stellar six-year run before jumping ship in 2024. Combining these two fast food behemoths would forge a gargantuan empire generating nearly $50 billion in annual sales.

Unsurprisingly, merging two consumer giants comes with mind-boggling complexity. Insiders familiar with the early discussions injected a swift dose of corporate realism, warning that “a transformative deal of this size might never get off the ground” and that a formal tie-up “could never materialize given the complexity of combining two consumer giants.”

When pressed on the rumors, executive suits maintained expected radio silence: “Starbucks declined to comment” while “Chipotle did not immediately respond to a request for comment.” Which, you know, means it’s probably true? I guess? No?

Wall Street reacted instantly to the leak, sending Starbucks stock down 3.6% while Chipotle shares jumped 5.7%. Could Niccol’s "Back to Starbucks" turnaround strategy soon include pumpkin spice barbacoa bowls?

I think I might have just been a little bit sick in my mouth.

Will Tesla’s New Roadster Live Up to the Hype?

Imagine handing over a $250,000 check for a sports car, waiting nearly a decade with zero customer updates, and then being told it might feature rocket thrusters. Welcome to the wild world of Tesla’s $TSLA ( ▼ 0.74% ) long-delayed Roadster, scheduled for its grand debut in Waco, Texas.

Deposit holders who have been hanging on since 2017 are setting expectations somewhere between extreme auto performance and literal sci-fi. Las Vegas gaming executive Todd Haushalter, who paid $250,000 upfront, told the Wall Street Journal: “I expect it to be the most impressive thing ever on wheels by a reasonably large factor.” Meanwhile, CEO Elon Musk has teased a sub-one-second 0–60 mph acceleration—calling that speed “the least interesting part”—and mused that SpaceX $SPCX ( ▼ 4.2% ) rocket thrusters “will even allow a Tesla to fly.”

Industry experts are raising an eyebrow. Engineer Sam Abuelsamid warned that driving a car capable of such absurd G-forces “is not something I would recommend to any normal human being.” Early buyer Phil Trubey agreed, noting that his current Model S sedan already pushes physical limits: “If you punch that thing, it literally gives me nausea. So, I cannot even imagine what a Roadster would do to me.”

Not everyone had the stomach for the nearly decade-long wait. OpenAI $OPEAZZX ( ▼ 0.26% ) CEO Sam Altman canceled his $50,000 reservation after complaining that “7.5 years has felt like a long time to wait,” although Elon Musk did sue him in the interim. Car collector Jerry Heasley also pulled his deposit in 2025, but now admits: “I want it really bad now, you can tell... Maybe I should have hung in there.”

Song of the Day: Holly Humberstone, ‘Make It All Better’

Here’s a dreamy, high-intensity electronic pop song from Holly’s second studio album, Cruel World.

Hot Wings from the Heavens as Matternet’s Drone Delivery Takes Flight

If you’ve ever watched a delivery driver get stuck in gridlock while your spicy chicken tenders grow cold and sad, Matternet $MTTN ( ▼ 0.63% ) CEO Andreas Raptopoulos feels your pain. Appearing on Cheddar to unveil Matternet's next-generation M3 drone delivery system, Raptopoulos declared war on traditional four-wheeled food transport.

“It’s not going to make any sense, I think, to use cars weaving themselves through traffic to deliver food. It’s slow, it’s expensive,” Raptopoulos said, pitching a sky-high alternative where autonomous aircraft handle the lunch rush.

The secret sauce behind the M3 isn't just the flying hardware, but its clever rooftop docking system. Installed on commercial roofs much like an air conditioning unit, the dock hosts, charges, and launches drones fully autonomously. Restaurant workers simply drop up to three packages into a merchant "portal," and the M3 zooms off—capable of carrying 11-pound payloads across a 10-mile radius.

Matternet also launched a flagship food partnership with Dave’s Hot Chicken. Kicking off at a store in Northridge, California, the initiative seeks to build the fast food location of tomorrow. Raptopoulos praised the brand, saying: “What we love about Dave’s is that they’re very, very supportive… leaning in on all sorts of technologies and we’re really trying to figure with them what will the store of the future look like.”

For hungry suburbanites, the main attraction is pure convenience. “The magical thing is speed, right?” Raptopoulos beamed. “The first time you get it, you don’t actually believe that it happened because from initiation of delivery to you getting the food in your hands is like three to five minutes.”

I’m actually a little hungry for some Dave’s Hot Chicken right now. Sign me up!

Free Yourself From Advertising Forever!

What to Stream This Very Weekend

My Cheddar colleague Lauren Babbage is all about the streaming recs. So instead of keeping them in our Slack channel, we figured, hey, why not let the Cheddfriends in on the deal? Here are her recs for this week. Take it away, Lauren!

East of Eden. If you're into a good historical period piece, you've probably had this release on your radar. Starring Florence Pugh (pure gold), the show takes you on the multi-generational journey of the Hamilton family in the early 1900s. This is the latest adaptation of the classic John Steinbeck book, following two earlier versions for film and TV. The way the series was shot is absolutely stunning, and so far, I think all the actors are extremely talented. I have to admit, I am going in pretty cold here (didn't read the book), so I'm trying not to rely on reviews online. However, they are pretty mixed. I've watched the first episode so far, and it was entertaining. NPR did a good review and analysis of the previous East of Eden adaptations, if you want the full story before diving in. 

Ted Lasso Season 4. No matter the plot, this show always puts me in a better mood. If you're a Ted Lasso stan, you've probably already started watching this season, so excuse my lateness to the game! It's a bit different from previous seasons—Ted is coaching a new women's team in London, and it comes with a whole new set of challenges. New characters. New subplots. But don't worry: Roy, Rebecca, Keeley, Leslie, and Coach Beard are all still there. Did Apple NEED to do this fourth season? No. I feel like the first three were perfect, and we could have just ended there. But this is something great to throw on in the background and distract yourself from the doom and gloom of the outside world. 

Bonus: Have a kid or grandkid? Toy Story 5 is finally up on Disney+ for free. We've only watched it 100 times so far in this house 🙂 

Thanks, Lauren! And if you’ve got a streaming rec for us, readers, we’re all ears!

Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

👎️ 

Nope.

Poll of the Day: It’s World-Famous-575™ Time

Poll of the Day: Maybe Try Poll Dancin’?

We asked: Which of Kalshi's current (mostly) political predictions do you find most plausible? You answered:

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ James Talarico (D) to beat Ken Paxton (R) for Senate in Texas by 2.5%. (62)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Troy Jackson (D) to beat Susan Collins (R) for Senate in Maine by 1.6%. (17)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Jon Ossoff (D) to beat Mike Collins (R) for Senate in Georgia by 9.2%. (35)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Nithya Raman to beat Karen Bass for mayor of Los Angeles (on which $99M worth of bets have been made). (11)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Jon Ossoff as the 2028 Democratic presidential nominee. (12)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ J.D. Vance as the 2028 Presidential Election winner. (28)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Marine Le Pen (from the Front Nationale) to win the next French presidential election. (12)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 We'll have 9% unemployment by 2030. Yikes! (95)
272 Votes

via @beehiiv polls

Need2Know is covered by Cheddar’s Terms of Service.

*We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post may also contain other affiliate links, meaning when you click the links and make a purchase, Cheddar receives a commission at no extra cost to you.

P.S. So, you remember the cheese puns that used to open this newsletter? Suffice to say, they were divisive. Now, thanks to a thing called “dynamic content options,” I can offer you the option to see cheese puns again, if you’re one of the thousands who got in touch bemoaning their departure six months ago. All you need to do is answer “true” on this survey, and submit it. If you never want to see cheese puns in this newsletter again, don’t click that link, don’t fill out the survey, don’t submit it. Just keep reading and pretend this conversation never happened. Mmmkay? Thank you.