Hello, my most splendiferous subscribers!

I bought the iPhone 16 last year because Apple promised a bunch of AI updates over the months to come, and suffice to say I can’t tell the difference between my new phone and the iPhone 12 ProMax I traded it in for. It’s almost like the company might have run out ideas—and that’s our lead business story…

News You Need2Know

• Will Apple be the next Blackberry Nokia?

• Not the type of business climax they had in mind

• Warner Bros. will break up its businessessesses

• Finally, an Xbox you can carry around!

• Tonys draw best audience in 6 years for CBS

Remember when the Beatles sued them over the name “Apple”?

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$AAPL ( ▲ 0.04% )  $NOK ( ▲ 0.57% )  $WBD ( ▼ 3.43% )  $MSFT ( ▲ 1.18% )  $NTDOF ( ▲ 4.58% )  $CBS ( ▲ 1.17% )  

Will Apple be the next Blackberry Nokia?

Remember Nokia $NOK ( ▲ 0.57% ) ? It was sitting atop the tech world, confidently pumping out indestructible phones (mine still has a charge!), blissfully unaware that the smartphone wave would soon bury it. Maybe Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 0.04% ) could learn a thing or two…

The company had its big developers conference on Monday, and what’s the big buzz? An iPhone software redesign. Pardon me while I faint from excitement! Heavens! The same brand that once left us reeling with drool-worthy tech advancements like Face ID and the AirPods decided to thrill thousands of developers at its annual WWDC event by... updating icons.

Last year the firm promised to update Siri to include more cutting-edge intuitive AI tools. But it didn’t happen. And there’s no timeline for it to happen. Craig Federighi, Apple’s software wizard, openly (openly! shamelessly!) admitted that Siri’s glow-up “needed more time to reach our high-quality bar.”

As someone who knows from high quality, I say it sounds like they tried and failed.

“The silence surrounding Siri was deafening,” said reasonably high-quality Forrester Research analyst Dipanjan Chatterjee. “No amount of text corrections or cute emojis can fill the yawning void of an intuitive, interactive AI experience that we know Siri will be capable of when ready. We just don’t know when that will happen. The end of the Siri runway is coming up fast, and Apple needs to lift off.” 🚀

Apple’s foot-dragging on AI has been a masterclass in how not to embrace emerging tech. OpenAI? Out there revolutionizing computing, if you believe the hype. Google? Seamlessly embedding AI into everything from phones to search engines. Apple? Working on its emoji diversity. 🚀

Even Jony “One ‘N’ Is Enough” Ive — the former Apple design guru — jumped ship and is now working with ChatGPT to design a groundbreaking device that threatens to replace the iPhone. Can we also talk about Apple’s mixed-reality “Vision Pro Goggles” for a second? Oh right, no one wants to…

CEO Tim Cook wrapped the WWDC show by saying Apple’s product experience is now “more seamless and enjoyable.” But the firm’s stock price was down 1.2% on the end of the day, suggesting investors want to see more. 🚀

Today’s song of the day: The Nokia ringtone

Not the type of business climax they had in mind

Nicole Daedone, feminist entrepreneur, and her former sales director, Rachel Cherwitz, have been convicted of forced labor conspiracy after a monthlong trial related to OneTaste, the women’s wellness company that claimed orgasmic enlightenment but ended up in a far less, um, pleasurable place: a Brooklyn courtroom.

OneTaste was founded on the concept of “orgasmic meditation,” a practice involving —brace yourself for this — men manually stimulating women in communal group settings. What began as a pitch for sexual and emotional empowerment apparently — and somehow unexpectedly — devolved into what prosecutors described as a “yearslong scheme” of manipulation, abuse, and financial exploitation.

Their legal team, who plan to appeal, was quick to emphasize that this case “raised numerous novel and complex legal issues.” And it’s true. I don’t think the legal system grapples with mandatory enlightenment sex every day either. One particularly culty detail: Followers were told that having sex with investors against their will was necessary for “freedom” and “enlightenment.”

Meanwhile, the company’s new owners, now under the rebranded name "Institute of OM Foundation," insist that everything has been “misconstrued.” 🚀

Today on the ‘gram: Uber ride sharing

Post of the day: This looks familiar…

Quote of the Day

Warner Bros. will break up its businessessesses

Warner Bros. Discovery $WBD ( ▼ 3.43% ) is consciously uncoupling into two separate publicly traded entities: “Streaming & Studios” and “Global Networks.”

The split, set to take effect by mid-2026, aims to offer each division “greater strategic flexibility and focus,” according to WBD’s official statement.

The new “Streaming & Studios” unit will house the Max HBO Max streaming service and Warner Bros. studio, led by CEO David “Unfireable“ Zaslav. Meanwhile, “Global Networks," helmed by CFO Gunnar “Easy for You to Say“ Wiedenfels, will oversee cable networks like CNN and Discovery+.

Zaslav, whom the board denied a 4% pay raise last week, said: “This evolution isn’t a departure from our strategy… it’s about unlocking the full potential of two strong businesses.” And, perhaps, giving half of your responsibilities to someone else?

The announcement sparked mixed reactions. While shares briefly rallied 10% following the news, they ultimately closed down 3%—a trend reflecting both investor anticipation and broader industry challenges. WBD has been under pressure from its hefty $37 billion debt and declining revenue in linear TV sectors, prompting the split as a way to streamline operations.

Hollywood loves a good reboot, of course. But where is Bugs Bunny in all this? Like surely they should change CNN to Bugs’s Bigtime News. #Stwategy

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️ 

Sure, but don’t get too excited.

Finally, an Xbox you can carry around!

After over a decade of speculation, Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.18% ) has officially unveiled its first handheld gaming console: the ROG Xbox Ally. Designed in collaboration with Asus, the new device promises on-the-go access to the Xbox Game Pass library, which boasts hundreds of titles for its 34 million subscribers.

While the innovative device faces stiff competition from the Steam Deck and Nintendo’s $NTDOF ( ▲ 4.58% ) just-released Switch 2, Microsoft's powerful Game Pass integration might make this a game-changer — price permitting!

The console comes in two models: the base ROG Xbox Ally and an upgraded "X" version, with up to 24GB RAM, 1TB of storage, and a more powerful processor. Both models feature a 7-inch 1080p display and can run PC games thanks to Windows compatibility, offering “the full freedom and versatility of PC gaming,” according to the company.

Tonys draw best audience in 6 years for CBS

The 2025 Tony Awards proved to be a dazzling night for Broadway and CBS $CBS ( ▲ 1.17% ) , drawing 4.85 million viewers — the event’s largest broadcast audience in six years.

Hosted by “Wicked” star Cynthia Erivo, the telecast marked a 38% increase in viewership compared to last year’s 3.53 million. This year's event was buzzing with historic wins and fierce competition. “Maybe Happy Ending,” a rom-com about androids, won Best New Musical, while Kara Young made history as the first Black artist to win two consecutive Tonys for her role in “Purpose,” which also took Best New Play.

Sarah Snook also won Best Actress in a Play for her one-woman performance in “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which, let’s face it, was awards bait from day one on the back of her performance in “Succession.” Maybe now she’ll get a good TV series to follow it up?

Poll of the Day: You remember what Eve ate?

Poll Results: We got a Mangione situatione

We asked: Do you think a jury will convict Luigi Mangione?

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Yes. (759 votes) 

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ No. (96 votes)

855 Votes via @beehiiv polls