This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how Apple plans to raise the price of an iPhone by $275 because of the AI-driven crunch in memory chip prices. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET today, for consideration by your Cheddar peers. (Don’t worry if you get a bounce-back email. The mailbox is working, it’s just been inundated with haikus lately and the good people at Microsoft $MSFT ( ▼ 2.27% ) seem not to have figured out how to fix Outlook yet.) Perhaps I should write a haiku about that.

Now for crying out loud, can we hear about the news?

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News you Need2Know

• Meta Predicts Success Copying Kalshi, Polymarket

• Introducing the $25k EV Truck… Want One?

• Aircon Becomes Politically Divisive in Europe

• Oil Traders On Edge Over Shaky Iran Ceasefire

• Republicans In Shock Over Bipartisan Housing Bill

• Poll of the day: The ideal temperature

• Poll of the day: CEO Pay Is Not A-OK

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.1% )  $DJI ( ▲ 0.35% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▼ 0.81% )  $KALSHI ( ▲ 13.0% )  $POLYMARKET ( ▲ 0.11% )  

Meta Predicts Success Copying Kalshi, Polymarket

With his share price still going down the toilet despite massive AI infrastructure investments, Mark Zuckerberg has unveiled his latest stroke of unparalleled corporate genius at Meta $META ( ▼ 0.81% ) : copying the cool kids. Since Kalshi $KALSHI ( ▲ 13.0% ) and Polymarket $POLYMARKET ( ▲ 0.11% ) have become some of the internet's fastest-growing destinations, Zuckerberg has predictably decided he wants in on the action. Enter “Arena,” Meta’s totally original, stand-alone prediction market app which is currently “in development,” according to the New York Times. I assume he named it after Teddy Roosevelt’s quote about credit going to the man there.

For now, insiders claim the app will just use a "video-game-like points system," but they conveniently haven't ruled out the eventual use of real-money betting prediction contracts. What could possibly go wrong when a social media giant decides to gamify world events?

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) is clearly thrilled about this philanthropic endeavor. He warmly told the Times, “Meta copied slot machines to addict kids to Instagram. Now Zuckerberg is turning his company into a prediction market.” Blumenthal further commended Meta’s unwavering dedication to “profiting from addiction.”

It takes true innovation to look at a cultural phenomenon that has already sparked intense legal scrutiny over insider trading and think, "Yes, let's clone that!” 

Still, two-to-one it’s launched by the end of the summer.

Quote of the day

Introducing the $25k EV Truck… Want One?

Are you tired of modern cars with their fancy "radios" and "power windows"? Do you long for the days when ordering a drive-thru burger required an aggressive forearm workout just to roll down the glass? You’re in luck! Slate Auto, a startup backed by some guy called Jeff Bezos, is launching a two-seat, all-electric pickup for just $24,950.

That’s right. For one-ten-thousandth-of-one-percent of Bezos’ net worth, you can buy a truck whose “luxuries” have been stripped away, like actual car paint, radios, and electric windows. Instead of an infotainment system, you get a dashboard mount for your smartphone. They almost axed the AC, too, until customer feedback forced them to focus on what “actually matters to drivers,” apart from price, according to Slate's head of engineering, Eric Keipper.

CEO Peter Faricy remains wildly optimistic about his bare-bones truck, insisting, “A U.S. automaker can make an affordable vehicle—and not only an affordable vehicle, but an affordable vehicle that people love.”

Industry analysts aren't so sure about the spartan experiment. Erin Keating told the Wall Street Journal, “It feels like a big stretch that this particular vehicle is going to be appealing outside of any niche audience.” Meanwhile, analyst Robby DeGraff brutally concluded that “it’s going to be really hard for some people to look at.” 

My sense is they will sell like hot cakes.

Aircon Becomes Politically Divisive in Europe

My friend Billy lives in Northeastern Italy. He stuck a thermometer out in the sun yesterday just to see what the temperature was, and it turns out, it’s half-way to boiling there on the Celsius scale, or about 122 Fahrenheit:

And it turns out that neighboring France now has a new summer tradition: Sweating through extreme heatwaves while politicians argue about air conditioning, reports the Financial Times.

As temperatures soar past 40C, the far-right National Rally has aggressively championed the AC unit. Leader Marine Le Pen declared, “It is absurd to have people die because of the heat,” promising a “massive air-conditioning plan” for vulnerable populations if elected. Her colleague, Jean-Philippe Tanguy, even claimed that AC has long been an “ideological taboo imposed by the left.”

On the other side of the aisle, the left is, er… sweating… the environmental costs. Far-left leader Jean-Luc Mélenchon fired back at Le Pen's proposal, arguing, “Absolutely not. Installing air conditioning everywhere would only mean increasing the damage.” Similarly, the Green Party labeled individual AC a “maladaptive response” that burdens the electricity grid, though Green leader Marine Tondelier later clarified there is “no taboo” against cooling, it just isn't a panacea.

While politicians bicker, citizens are melting, and even left-wing officials are bowing to the heat. Paris Mayor Emmanuel Grégoire recently unlocked emergency funds, promising, “There will be an AC unit delivered to every school in Paris by the end of next week.” 

Presumably, of course, the weather will have cooled off a touch by then. Britain recorded record temperatures of 35 degrees Celsius yesterday, too, and most of my mates back home are steadfast in keeping their upper lips stiff and their air unconditioned. Fools.

Song of the day: Bun Xapa and ZIDDO, ‘Looking for Change’

This is an atmospheric, moving South African electronic dance music track. Just don’t start talking like Leonard DiCaprio in “Blood Diamond” because I mentioned South Africa once in passing, eh, bru?

Oil Traders On Edge Over Shaky Iran Ceasefire

Everyone is breathing a sigh of relief over the Middle East ceasefire, but global oil traders are still sweating. Sure, the vital Strait of Hormuz is technically open again, and it hasn’t even seen an algal bloom or anything, but there's a slight catch: Iran needs about 30 days just to clear out the explosive sea mines.

We miraculously avoided $200-a-barrel oil by draining our global safety nets, but now we are essentially running on fumes. Politico's James Bikales helpfully pointed out that global inventories have hit "tank bottom," warning, “there's not much more left that can be drawn down.” He added that with any further delays or disruptions, “we could see prices rise again.”

If the lingering threat of naval explosions wasn't enough, there's also a brand-new geopolitical tollbooth in the works. Bikales noted that “Iran has threatened repeatedly throughout the war, and even since the agreement's been signed, that they plan to charge fees for ships transiting the Strait of Hormuz going forward.”

As opposed to going backward, which will, of course, be free.

So, what is the world's grand, innovative plan to fix this anxiety? Panic-hoarding. Bikales observes that “countries are looking at creating new stockpiles of oil.”

I’m just glad we’ve slashed renewable energy policy to the bone, aren’t you?

Republicans In Shock Over Bipartisan Housing Bill

President Trump swooped in to save America from a bipartisan affordable housing bill yesterday, refusing to sign it despite overwhelming bipartisan support. He also perplexed members of his own party as predictions for Democratic dominance in 2028 increase.

The bill is designed to lower construction regulations and housing costs, but Trump abruptly canceled the signing ceremony. Why? Because Congress hasn't passed his unrelated, highly unpopular voting restriction legislation, the “Save America Act.”

The timing was not ideal for congressional Republicans. At the exact moment Trump was derailing the legislation, Representative Tom Emmer was blissfully bragging to the press, “House Republicans are going to be the party that governs and delivers.” Oops.

Trump dismissed the 380-page housing package as “of minor importance compared to lower interest rates,” having previously assured reporters he was “looking at other things very strongly.”

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) was predictably aghast, accusing the president of “running away from one of the very few accomplishments that could actually help the American people.” Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) similarly noted the move “made clear that he isn’t worried about families’ rising expenses.” She said: “You know, he could be over here trying to claim a victory lap, and instead he’s saying no, no, he doesn’t want anything to do with it.”

Thanks to a quirk of the law, the bill can still become law without the President’s signature. He simply canceled the signing ceremony but didn’t threaten to outright veto the bill.

Senate Republicans expressed shock and bewilderment over President Trump’s threat not to sign. Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) said Trump’s out-of-the-blue threat not to sign legislation that he had endorsed earlier this year was “inexplicable.” “I don’t know if there’s a precedent for it,” Cornyn told The Hill.

Another Republican senator who requested anonymity to comment frankly on Trump’s comments about the housing bill told The Hill, “It’s not a very good move.”

“There is a huge group of people who really appreciate what the president’s doing right now, and it’s the Democrat party,” said Senator Thom Thillis, (R-NC).

Free yourself from advertising forever!

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Still a no, I’m afraid, and a harder no, in fact, than it has been lately.

Poll of the day: The ideal temperature

Poll of the day: CEO Pay Is Not A-OK

We asked: What's a reasonable salary for the CEO of a major American company?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Frankly, $158 billion is the bare minimum to survive these days. (9)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ A reasonable salary is obviously $821 million, paid almost entirely in stock grants. (5)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Anything below $205 million is a complete insult to basic human dignity. (9)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ A meager $18 million is the new S&P 500 median, effectively putting most executives on food stamps. (25)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 If they create wealth for their workers and shareholders I think they should be fairly rewarded, but I don't think that's what's happening, most of the time, these days, sadly. (466)

514 Votes via @beehiiv polls

Need2Know is covered by Cheddar’s Terms of Service

P.S. So, you remember the cheese puns that used to open this newsletter? Suffice to say, they were divisive. Now, thanks to a thing called “dynamic content options,” I can offer you the option to see cheese puns again, if you’re one of the thousands who got in touch bemoaning their departure six months ago. All you need to do is answer “true” on this survey, and submit it. If you never want to see cheese puns in this newsletter again, don’t click that link, don’t fill out the survey, don’t submit it. Just keep reading and pretend this conversation never happened. Mmmkay? Thank you.