Hello, Monday-I-Could-Fall-Apart-ers!

Lance “yellow wristband everybody seems to have stopped wearing lately” Armstrong wore Oakley sunglasses, and clearly, indisputably, they helped his image. Meanwhile, Mark “I once tried to run for president but nobody liked me in Iowa” Zuckerberg has decided to team up with the brand he probably remembers Tony Hawk and Michael Jordan wearing when he was 10—to launch a new pair of smart glasses!

Also, good news: Robots can find your missing sperm now. It’s miraculous.

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• Meta teams up with Oakley for smart glasses

• How the Lakers’ new owner made his fortune

• It’s hot—and it’s going to get hotter (and hotter)

• How AI is transforming fertility

• Texas lawmakers try to throw a wrench into Elon Mu …

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$META ( ▲ 0.98% )  $SNAP ( ▼ 1.72% )  $GOOGL ( ▲ 2.49% )  $TSLA ( ▲ 2.29% )  

Meta teams up with Oakley for smart glasses

Meta $META ( ▲ 0.98% ) has teamed up with sports eyewear legend Oakley to unleash the "Oakley Meta HSTN," a smart glasses line equipped with a hands-free camera, open-ear speakers, water resistance, and Meta’s AI capabilities.

These glasses aim to make you the, let’s say, coolest and also, perhaps, most confusing person at the local gym, nude beach, or nude Starbucks. For $499, you can preorder on July 11. More models for losers late-adopters will drop at $399 over the summer. Better yet, these glasses will debut at sporting events like UFC Fight Week, where you'll need smart glasses to better understand why someone is willingly getting kicked repeatedly in the face. Incidentally, I’m not sure you saw this amusing Hard Times opinion piece recently, but it struck a chord with me.

Lols. Meanwhile, Snap $SNAP ( ▼ 1.72% ) , Google $GOOGL ( ▲ 2.49% ) , and other tech giants are hot on Meta's heels.

Song of the day: Sunglasses at Night

"Sunglasses at Night" is a song by Canadian singer Corey Hart. It was released on January 21, 1984, as the first single from his debut album, 1983's “First Offense” and reached number 7 in the U.S. It describes a man being cheated on who wears his “sunglasses” as to stay willfully ignorant of his lover's unfaithfulness.

I mean, we’ve all done it. [Yep. —ed.]

The music video, shot at the Don Jail in Toronto, reflects the vision of a "fashion" police state, with scenes of Hart in a prison cell, sans sunglasses, being strong-armed by police officers and paraded past various citizens wearing their regulation shades. What’s not to like?

How the Lakers’ new owner made his fortune

Move over, LeBron James! The real MVP of the Lakers might now be Mark Walter, the billionaire set to take over controlling interest in the legendary franchise. Walter has made a career of investing in everything from AI to auto racing. The CEO of global investment firm Guggenheim Partners (no relation), which manages a jaw-dropping $325 billion in assets, Walter is estimated by Forbes to be worth $6.1 billion. Walter has also made investing partnerships with Elon Musk’s xAI and Palantir. On top of that, Walter already holds controlling stakes in other sports franchises, such as the Dodgers and Chelsea FC.

Today on the ‘gram: Rocket go boom boom

Post of the day: Never charged with a crime

Quote of the Day

It’s hot—and it’s going to get hotter (and hotter)

Summer has officially RSVP’d to our party invitation, and it's arriving with a +1: the dreaded heat dome. The weather phenomenon traps heat and humidity, turning parts of the U.S. into an outdoor sauna.

“A lot of those folks have been saying, ‘Where’s summer?’ Well, buckle up, because it’s coming,” warned AccuWeather meteorologist Tom Kines.

The heat will hit obnoxious levels this week, with temperatures exceeding 90°F but feeling 20°F warmer, thanks to humidity. Stay in air-conditioned spaces and hydrate, unless you want to die.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Still no.

How AI is transforming fertility

A recent breakthrough in fertilization technology, an AI-driven system called STAR (Sperm, Track and Recovery, obviously), is offering new hope to couples struggling with infertility. The innovative system recently enabled a couple to achieve a successful pregnancy after 19 years of trying and 15 failed IVF cycles.

Alice Park, senior health correspondent at Time, shed light on the remarkable new technology recently. "One of the biggest factors contributing to infertility, not just in the US, but around the world, is male factor infertility. About 40% of infertility cases are due to male factors. And among those, about 10% are due to azo-spermia or the lack of sperm in the semen sample,” she said.

For these cases, traditional methods are often damaging or invasive. The STAR system leverages AI to overcome these challenges. Park explains, "What this STAR system does is it's able to take a semen sample that human technicians look at and really can't find any sperm and detect the few sperm."

"Anywhere where you've got a lot of data and you need to analyze that data quickly and accurately is where AI could really help," she said.

Texas lawmakers try to throw a wrench into Elon Musk’s robotaxi debut

Elon Musk is no stranger to shaking things up, whether it's launching rockets, tweeting pedophilia allegations about the president, or paving the way for autonomous vehicles. But this time, his ambitious robotaxi debut in Texas is hitting a bump in the road—courtesy of lawmakers.

A group of seven Democratic lawmakers in Texas has formally asked Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 2.29% ) to hold its horses (or, uh, robotaxis) until September 1, when a new law governing the safe deployment of autonomous vehicles takes effect. The law would require Tesla and others to secure state approval, prove their cars aren’t a danger to society, and outline how first responders should deal with a robotaxi if it gets a little confused on the road.

The lawmakers sent a polite letter that reads: “We believe this is in the best interest of both public safety and building public trust.” Translation? We’re nervous about trusting these futuristic Ubers until all the paperwork’s done. It’s unclear if Tesla is paying attention, though. The company stayed silent after being contacted.

Musk has massive influence in Texas, where Republicans dominate the legislature and are generally big fans of his ventures, from SpaceX rockets to Tesla factories. So, will Musk hit the brake on his robotaxi rollout?

Let’s just say his company’s shares were unaffected by the news.

Poll of the Day: 👍🏽 or 👎🏻?

Poll Results: Liam Neeson squeaks it.

We asked: Liam Neeson in Naked Gun reboot...

You answered:

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Y (380)

 🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ N (132)

512 Votes via @beehiiv polls