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Greetings N2K reader!

This week’s world famous news haiku competition™ is about how cannabis stocks surged on Friday after reports that President Trump plans to ease federal restrictions by reclassifying marijuana from Schedule I to Schedule III. Send me your entry — to our spiffy new email address, haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday for consideration by your Cheddar peers!

And now for something completely different!

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• No driver, no problem? Tesla’s robotaxi moment hit …

• Why WeShop is giving its users an equity stake

• How Somnee is changing the way we sleep

• Let’s talk robo-banking with WealthFront! 🤖

• You may as well start going to the gym now, since …

• Poll of the day: 💤💤💤’

• Poll of the day: Grammar N-AI-zis

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 0.64% ) $DJI ( ▼ 0.16% ) $NDX ( ▼ 0.28% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$ORCL ( ▼ 5.41% )  $CRWV ( ▼ 4.73% )  $WSHP ( ▼ 6.85% )  $WLTH ( ▼ 2.72% )  $TSLA ( ▼ 2.01% )  $GOOGL ( ▼ 2.37% )  $AMZN ( ▲ 0.36% )  

No driver, no problem? Tesla’s robotaxi moment hits Austin

Tesla $TSLA ( ▼ 2.01% ) has begun pilot testing its robotaxis on the streets of Austin without human safety monitors, raising both excitement and concern. Spotted in action on Dec. 14, these autonomous vehicles represent a significant step forward for Tesla. CEO Elon Musk confirmed the development, noting on social media platform X, "testing is underway with no occupants in the car."

Despite Tesla’s ambitious advancements, safety experts are apprehensive. “I think it's a big safety concern to not have a safety driver on board those vehicles,” said Dr. Steven Shladover, lead research engineer specializing in autonomous vehicles at the Institute of Transportation Studies at UC Berkeley, talking to CBS Austin. Shladover cautioned that the technology “is not robust enough to be able to deal with all of the situations that it will encounter when driving around an urban area.” According to Shladover, Tesla should incorporate radar in addition to its cameras for more reliable performance.

Dr. Kara Kockelman, a professor of transportation engineering at the University of Texas at Austin, echoed these concerns. She highlighted the advantages of a multi-modal approach adopted by other companies like Waymo $GOOGL ( ▼ 2.37% ) and Zoox $AMZN ( ▲ 0.36% ) . “Tesla has kept the cost of their vehicles quite low by relying only on cameras,” Kockelman noted, adding that transparency regarding test results is crucial. "I think Tesla should stop redacting the details of those crashes and share honestly just like Waymo has been doing."

Let’s hope they don’t kill anyone, eh?

Song of the Day: Matt Hansen, ‘Compass’

This is sweeping, atmospheric track that serves as a tender ode to steadfast love…just like this newsletter.

Why WeShop is giving its users an equity stake

WeShop $WSHP ( ▼ 6.85% ) , the online retail platform that recently had its NASDAQ IPO, is pioneering a unique business model: User ownership. As founder John Garner explained, when you shop online through the WeShop app, you earn "WePoints." After 13 months, "those WePoints turn into Class A shares and can be delivered to your brokerage account." This gives every user a stake in the company with "zero cash investment cost," fundamentally redefining the relationship between a platform and its consumers.

Garner noted the company's long journey to list on a regulated market, saying "No one has ever done it before in the way where someone has given 50% of a quoted business to the users that create the value."

Looking ahead, WeShop's long-term vision is to be the biggest shopping platform in the world. The platform is expanding its reach internationally and into new white-label products like insurance and telecoms, making users "a bigger owner of the business." 

Quote of the Day

How Somnee is changing the way we sleep

Are you getting enough sleep, mate?

You sure? (Let us know in today’s poll!)

The next generation of sleep technology can answer for you. Somnee is a revolutionary closed-loop wearable, leveraging neuroscience and AI to help users fall and stay asleep. Born from the research of four UC Berkeley neuroscientists, including “Why We Sleep” author Dr. Matt Walker, Somnee is much more than a typical tracker.

CEO Tim Rosa describes it as "the next generation of sleep wearables. It's a closed-loop product that is a clinical grade sleep diagnostic that also, more importantly, helps you fall asleep using neural stimulation." The device uses EEG — miniaturized sleep lab technology — to map the brain, determine the optimal sleep state, and personalize a specific type of neural stimulation. The process uses AI to help with both the struggle to fall asleep (sleep onset) and the struggle to stay asleep (sleep maintenance).

The results are impressive: The company boasts an 85% success rate in improving sleep onset, maintenance, and overall quality. A pilot study with the NBA demonstrated the technology's impact, showing users added 31 minutes of sleep and reduced their sleep onset time from 24 minutes to just 8 minutes. Following this study, the NBA even took an equity position in the company. Personally, I like to just pop a Benadryl and hope for the best.

High-profile users and partners — including Olympic swimmer Ryan Murphy, Salesforce $CRM ( ▲ 2.08% ) CEO Mark Benioff (now an investor), the NBA (we mentioned them, right?), and Equinox Hotels — are already adopting the technology. As Tim Rosa says, the ultimate goal is simple: "We're helping you with sleep so that you can live your best life." 

This focus on how the user feels the morning after, rather than just a sleep score, is a key part of the experience. Since I tend to put all my feelings in a jar and then stuff them down, I have zero idea why any of this actually matters. But perhaps that’s part of the problem. Garçon, Cafe, s’il vous plaît! Maintenant! (I speak French when I’m having an anxiety attack).

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Best to just manage your expectations before Christmas, here, I think…

Let’s talk robo-banking with WealthFront! 🤖

Wealthfront $WLTH ( ▼ 2.72% ) is capitalizing on its rapid growth and digital-native client base, aiming to be the go-to platform for such folks to grow their wealth, already managing over $90 billion for clients. The core of their model is automation and low overhead. As CFO Alan Emberman noted, their product is designed "to make the product so great that you never need to talk to somebody." 

This all-digital approach covers a comprehensive suite of products, including an all-in-one high-yield savings account and diversified investing options.

The company's profitability and scale were the driving forces behind its recent IPO. Emberman explained that they've "hit a scale that we think makes this a great public company." 

With a client base anchored by Millennials and now seeing rapid growth in Gen Z, Wealthfront is poised for a long-term future, evolving with new products like a recently launched home lending feature. Don’t say “sounds like an online bank.” Do say “sounds like a digital wealth platform.”

You may as well start going to the gym now, since the new year is around the corner

The fitness landscape is constantly changing, but Orangetheory Fitness is proving its staying power by offering more than just a workout. Brand President Lauren Cody describes the experience as the “multi-vitamin of fitness,” thanks to its “unique combination of strength and cardio together” that helps members “burn fat, build muscle, and get results.”

Even in the age of at-home workouts, the market is growing, not shrinking. Cody notes that only “25% of people in the United States have ever had a gym membership,” meaning there’s “space for everyone to grow.” The winning strategy? Providing “true value for money for people” through results.

For Orangetheory, results are built on a strong foundation, which is why their programming is deeply focused on cardiorespiratory health and strength. Furthermore, the in-studio experience, bolstered by new technology like the new performance monitor, drives “accountability and community,” Cody said.

And who doesn’t love a bit of those things?

Poll of the day: 💤💤💤’

Poll of the day: Grammar N-AI-zis

We asked: “Which AI extremist organization are you most likely to join?”

You answered:

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The Neo-Luddite Paradox," slogan: "Smash the Machine! (Prompt generated by ChatGPT-5)." (45)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 "The Syntax Supremacists," whose mission it is to eradicate bad grammar from the face of the earth. Slogan: "Join Us, or Be [sic]." (121)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The Reply-All Revolutionary Front," who believe everyone should be CC'd on everything. Slogan: "Slogan: "This Meeting Could Have Been An Insurrection." (24) 🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The Karen Singularity," whose mission is to speak to the manager of the Universe. Slogan: "The Customer is Always Right-Wing." (21)

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The TL;DR Separatists," a movement dedicated to the violent eradication of nuance and context. Slogan: "Reading is for the Weak." (6)

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ "The Introvert Insurgency," whose mission is the total cessation of all unsolicited human interaction. Slogan: "Leave Us Alone, Together." (101)

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ OpenAI: I hear they're hiring! (46)

364 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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