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- Nvidia leads another AI market surge
Nvidia leads another AI market surge
Plus: U.S. prosecutors tell Wall Street to self-report fraud and "walk free"
Vote for the winner of this week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ in today’s poll 👇🏻. Now: News!
Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor
News You Need2Know
What’s the stock market up to, eh?
Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter
$DJI ( ▲ 0.75% ) $NVDA ( ▲ 4.39% ) $SPX ( ▲ 0.77% ) $AAPL ( ▼ 0.22% ) $TSLA ( ▼ 0.44% ) $MSFT ( ▲ 1.04% ) $CSCO ( ▲ 13.41% ) $AMZN ( ▼ 1.08% ) $NVDA ( ▲ 4.39% ) $META ( ▲ 0.29% ) $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.39% ) $MSFT ( ▲ 1.04% ) $AAPL ( ▼ 0.22% ) $ANTHROPIC ( 0.0% )
Nvidia leads another AI market surge

(Google)
Welcome to late capitalism, where the vibes are immaculate and the Dow Jones Industrial Average $DJI ( ▲ 0.75% ) has officially cleared 50,000. It turns out that the secret ingredient for a record-shattering market rally isn't stable trade or peace, but a two-month-old war with Iran and oil sitting at a cool $105 per barrel. Also: ROBOTS.
Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 4.39% ) is once again leading the charge, dragging the S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 0.77% ) to fresh heights yesterday because we’ll need a lot of AI to solve a lot more problems, given the way 2026 is going. During a high-stakes summit with China in Beijing, President Trump took a break from discussing "economic cooperation" with Xi Jinping to praise his host, saying of Xi, “He’s a strong leader, he’s a great leader, and we’re going to do something that’s going to be very special for both countries.” We can only assume that "something special" involves a buy-one-get-one-free deal on semiconductors for Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.22% ) , Tesla $TSLA ( ▼ 0.44% ) , and Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.04% ) , whose stocks all soared on the remarks.
Cisco $CSCO ( ▲ 13.41% ) also skyrocketed 15% after their earnings report, proving that if you whisper the letters “A” and “I” into a microphone, investors will throw money at you. But as Robert “I AM the company” Edwards of Edwards Asset Management perfectly summarized, in conversation with the Associated Press: “The worry list is long, but the economy keeps proving the bears wrong.”
🐻👎🏻
Of course, the "un-AI," or “real,” world is a bit of a bummer, stock market-wise. Mosaic $MOS ( ▼ 0.44% ) is wilting under fertilizer woes, and the airlines—Southwest $LUV ( 0.0% ) , Delta $DAL ( ▲ 0.97% ) , Alaska $ALK ( ▼ 1.04% ) , and United $UAL ( ▲ 0.33% ) —are still tanking because fuel prices are akin to those of fine wine. But I’m 100% sure this is all totally sustainable and none of us will be crying into our Exchange Traded Funds by Christmas. I did buy $600 worth of the Spear Alpha ETF $SPRX ( ▲ 2.61% ) about a week ago and it’s up 14% or about $96 since then. #NotFinancialAdvice
Quote of the Day
There’s more carrot here, but there’s also a lot less stick.
Prosecutors tell Wall Street to self-report fraud and "walk free"

(Google)
The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York has concocted a brilliant new strategy to combat white-collar crime: Not prosecuting it with any meaningful consequences. Under the leadership of Jay Clayton, prosecutors are offering delightful behind-closed-door deals where companies can simply “self-report” their massive, pervasive frauds and avoid pesky things like criminal charges, fines, or public embarrassment, the Financial Times reports.
It turns out the old system had big problems because corporate lawbreakers couldn't really trust they wouldn't be prosecuted if they confessed to any of this stuff. So this generous new model finally provides exactly what the shareholders want. Justice?
But don't think Clayton is a total softie. He’s putting his foot down, warning companies, “If you don’t report and we find it, we’re going to kill you.”
White-collar prosecutions in America are currently at a four-decade low and hardly, you know, trending upwards. As one former federal prosecutor summarized this new era of justice, “There’s more carrot here, but there’s also a lot less stick." For companies deciding whether to confess, he said, it "really boils down to, what are my odds of getting caught?”
So go ahead, Wall Street. Commit fraud, whisper an apology in secret, and walk free. Some would argue that this is hardly a huge development from the status quo but at least somebody said the quiet part out loud, at last.
Meet Sprout, Amazon’s $50,000 humanoid

Meet Sprout. It stands three-and-a-half feet tall, cleans up your mess, and might challenge you to a dance-off, if you’re nice to it. Originally developed by New York startup Fauna Robotics and recently acquired by Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 1.08% ) , this $50,000 machine currently serves as a developer platform, representing the early innings of the personal computing industry for robotics.
Sprout proudly states, "I can walk, wave, dance, and help with tasks under guidance." Powered by an onboard Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 4.39% ) processor, Sprout is part of a larger Big Tech race to put a humanoid companion in your home, with Meta $META ( ▲ 0.29% ) , Google $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.39% ) , and Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.04% ) all aggressively advancing their own robotics projects. An Amazon executive highlighted the stakes of this physical AI push, telling us, "Artificial intelligence, especially agentic AI, is the biggest shift in technology since the internet."
While the hefty $50,000 price tag currently targets corporate R&D budgets, rather than, like, yours, the ultimate goal is consumer adoption. The creators purposely designed Sprout's soft exterior to be friendly and familiar. "We really like that dynamic of robots that you can grow up or grow old with," a Fauna representative told us, noting that the robot is intended "more as sidekick than primary friend."
And there go my plans for you, my widdle primary wobot fwend.
Song of the Day: FLO, ‘Therapy at the Club’
FLO’s "Therapy At The Club" is a “super personal" sophomore album title track featuring a 1960s-inspired piano ballad sound that explores emotional release, desire, and healing through a dark R&B/pop lens. As a result, it’ll be familiar, I imagine, to readers of this newsletter.
Mythos cracks Apple’s tough-to-crack security

(Google)
Apple's $AAPL ( ▼ 0.22% ) macOS is highly regarded as one of the most difficult targets for hackers to breach. But researchers from the Palo Alto-based security firm Calif recently uncovered a novel way to bypass Apple's state-of-the-art security systems—using an early version of Anthropic’s $ANTHROPIC ( 0.0% ) Mythos AI bot.
The researchers successfully linked two bugs to corrupt a Mac's memory and access restricted areas of the device. If chained with other methods, this “privilege escalation exploit” could allow bad actors to completely seize control of a computer. That’s why I illustrated this article with a picture of that guy from The Room messing with my laptop. Because: Bad actors. Right?! (You’re fired, Matt. —Ed.)
The capability of AI to assist in uncovering such flaws is raising eyebrows in the cybersecurity world. Calif’s chief executive, Thai Duong, told the Wall Street Journal that the attack relied on human expertise alongside the AI, but highlighted the novelty of the AI's contribution. “We haven’t seen cases where it comes up with new attack techniques,” Duong explained. “This is kind of a new thing.”
Michał Zalewski, an independent security researcher, reviewed the findings for the Wall Street Journal, and agreed that while some of the hype surrounding Mythos is “overblown,” it is undoubtedly possible to use these new tools for “meaningful vulnerability research and code auditing.”
Apple is currently reviewing Calif's 55-page report to validate the bugs. Addressing the discovery, an Apple spokeswoman said: “Security is our top priority, and we take reports of potential vulnerabilities very seriously.”
But not as seriously as I take bad actors.
Hedge funds are killing it on AI hardware

(Google)
Stock-picking hedge funds just recorded their best month in over two decades, fueled by massive rallies in semiconductor and AI hardware stocks. The rapid adoption of AI has created a ravenous appetite for computing power, pushing tech giants like Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.04% ) , Meta $META ( ▲ 0.29% ) , Alphabet $GOOG ( ▼ 0.47% ) , and Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 1.08% ) (I don’t know if I’ve mentioned these companies lately, but, you know…you might want to look them up) to invest heavily in advanced chips and data centers.
Hedge fund firms like Steve Cohen’s Point72, Seligman Investments, and Whale Rock Capital Management are reaping the massive rewards of this boom. Whale Rock's Alex Sacerdote captured the industry's current enthusiasm at a recent investment conference: “In addition to AI being the most compute intensive thing we’ve ever seen and shortages as far as the eye can see, we’re in a golden age of hardware,” he said, according to the Wall Street Journal. He further added that “All of these companies that nobody used to ever pay attention to are now golden, wonderful businesses.”
Hedge funds are now more overweight on semiconductor stocks than at any point in the past decade. I feel like Alex Sacerdote might want to Google “Icarus” and the phrase “flying too close to the sun,” but there really is no teaching these people.
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Should you check your 401(k) today?
👍️
Yes. 50,000 Dow, baby!
Poll of the day: It’s world-famous-575™ time
Pick a winning haiku about high oil prices driving Europeans to adopt electric vehicles and solar energy in record numbers. |
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Poll of the day: It should always be a poll choice
We asked: Do you think you'll try Amazon's 30-minute delivery service?
You answered:
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Absolutely! I love paying a $13.99 fee just to get emergency limes in under a half-hour. (16)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Sure, because my desperate need for mouthwash is totally worth the environmental impact and stressing out gig workers. (18)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ No thanks. As a Gen Z shopper, I prefer waiting days for my earbuds to save a box. (48)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'll pass. I'd rather not watch Amazon drivers recreate the '90s Domino's pizza crashes. (168)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 America has gone insane. (325)
575 Votes via @beehiiv polls
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