Susan Weinstein won last week’s world-famous-news-haiku-competition™ with this beauty about how a Silicon Valley startup that released its first product just last week is drawing investment offers at a multibillion-dollar valuation, with promises that its AI tools are more efficient than OpenAI's:

Congratulations, Susan! Here’s your celebratory gif:

And here’s how Susan fared against the competition:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 1. Now please clap for Jev, From zero to ten billion. Where did I go wrong? ~Stephen Balzac (20)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 2. New AI needs help. Offers more ef-fi-cien-cy. Promise, it’s worth it! ~Michelle Rodriguez (4)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 3. Research? Hard work? Proof? Fake value built on nothing. Remember Enron? ~Susan Weinstein (73)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 4. Started in garage. Need some dough for my black box. How 'bout a billion? ~Steve (12)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 5. Value: one billion. Cause our brand will kill you off. Before the others. ~Janine G (31)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 6. Unalienable. Buy for little, Sell for more; Capitalism. ~Rick Wetherill (7)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 7. Simple AI is key. To productivity boost. Get back to basics. ~Bob Andersen (16)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 8. AI Builds Itself. Faster, Cheaper, Mo’ Betta. End of Man is Nigh? ~Dick Peterson (31)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 9. Apocalypse safe! Jev is only lethal to…other AI brands. ~Margaret Lea (27)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 10. New AI does less. Investors: "Take my money!" Next stop, no function. ~Tim Olsen (26)
247 Votes via @beehiiv polls

This week’s world-famous-news-haiku-competition™ is about how Americans are spending more money on hobbies despite economic pressure. Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

But first? News!

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

Table of Contents

• Soft Jobs Report Sends Stocks Higher 🤷

• Why Younger Investors Are Turning to AI Research

• Why Americans Are Spending More on Hobbies

• Grindr Bets $250 Million on HIV Prevention

• How New York's Buildings Are Getting Greener

• Poll of the Day: Get On Your Hobby Horse!

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.73% )  $DJI ( ▲ 0.49% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

$ETOR ( ▼ 1.4% )  $BAC ( ▲ 0.04% )  

Soft Jobs Report Sends Stocks Higher 🤷

In the upside-down universe of high finance, bad news is the best cause for celebration. When the Bureau of Labor Statistics released September’s softer jobs report—showing sluggish hiring, an uptick in unemployment, and muted wage growth—Wall Street didn't panic. Instead, traders popped champagne as the S&P 500 surged near its record highs and government bond yields fell across the board.

Why the cheer? Because in Central Bank Math™, a cooling labor market means the Federal Reserve is now far less likely to slap another interest rate hike on the economy when it gathers in late October. Almost overnight, futures markets slashed the probability of an October rate increase from a scorching 70 percent down to a cool 20 percent.

Central bank officials spent last week soothing jittery markets with a chorus of "calm down." John C. Williams, President of the New York Fed, kicked off the messaging by declaring there was “no need for urgency.” Fed Vice Chair Philip N. Jefferson agreed, noting that evaluating future moves “may take more time.” Meanwhile, Vice Chair for Supervision Michelle W. Bowman delivered the magic words investors wanted to hear, stating, “I don’t currently see an urgent need for further action.” Dallas Fed President Lorie D. Logan even suggested that rising bond yields might do the heavy lifting for them, observing that higher long-term yields “can slow the economy, reducing the need to tighten monetary policy.”

It’s the wonderfully bizarre logic of modern capitalism: Workers getting slightly smaller raises is precisely the gift our stock portfolios needed. I’m sure Karl Marx had something to say about all this at some point, but who cares?! Check your 401(k)!

Quote of the Day

Why Younger Investors Are Turning to AI Research

I rely on a gentleman called Dean to do my investment research. He charges 1% of our net worth, we meet with him every six months and he invests the money on our behalf. I don’t have to think about it. It’s a bargain I’m more than happy to strike, and Dean has more than paid for his charges over the years in returns. I trust him. He’s a real person. He sends us a Christmas card.

Gen Z? Not so much. In fact, over three-quarters of younger investors are turning to artificial intelligence to build their portfolios and scout stock ideas. According to eToro’s $ETOR ( ▼ 1.4% ) quarterly survey, younger cohorts are completely changing the rules of market research. As Brett Kenwell, U.S. Investment Analyst at eToro, points out, younger traders "tend to be more adoptive and embracing of new technologies." Raised on zero-commission trading apps and instant mobile feeds, these digital natives expect analysis at the speed of a screen swipe. "They know where to look for new ideas," Kenwell notes.

Compare that to Baby Boomers, where only a third comfortably touch AI for stock picking, preferring traditional human advisors or old-school phone orders. As Kenwell puts it, younger retail traders are an "opportunistic bunch" who "like to be in the big moves." 

Best of luck, folks! And let me know when you need Dean’s number, yeah?

Why Americans Are Spending More on Hobbies

If your recent financial decisions include buying a $40 watercolor kit instead of a $1,000 plane ticket, you are part of a major economic trend. As inflation and high transportation costs make grand vacations painfully expensive, Americans are ditching "revenge travel" and embracing the "little treat economy"—driving a 7.9% surge in hobby spending.

According to Joe Wadford, economist at the Bank of America Institute $BAC ( ▲ 0.04% ) , consumers are pivoting toward affordable local splurges to stretch a dollar. But as demand grows, so do prices—a phenomenon Wadford dubs "funflation." Between supply chain hiccups, gas price hikes, and raw material costs for synthetic yarn and game figurines, the price of having fun keeps climbing.

The generational dynamics behind this spending are unhinged. Elder Millennials have emerged as the biggest hobby spenders, despite census data showing they have the least free time of anyone. Why? Aside from trying to "raise these like analog kids as opposed to digital kids," parents are indulging in purely aspirational shopping. As Wadford candidly admitted about his own habits, “I'll spend at the arts and crafts store, I'll go and buy a video game and it doesn't even come out of the packaging... I just know maybe one day when we're out of diapers I'll be able to actually participate in some fun activities.”

Poor guy. Meanwhile, Gen Z is cooling off on pricey outdoor gear and leaning hard into budget-friendly "grannycore" pastimes like knitting, sewing, and DIY costume-making. As Wadford notes, peak digital consumption might finally be behind us as younger generations push back against screen overload to "touch grass" and make things by hand.

Song of the Day: Stevie Wonder, ‘It’s Easier’

"It's Easier" is a classic, bittersweet breakup track by Stevie Wonder that was unvaulted this month as part of the 50th-anniversary release of his legendary 1976 album, Songs in the Key of Life. Personally curated by Wonder and mixed by the original session engineers, the track serves as the opening number for the celebratory EP. It captures the peak creative energy of Wonder's mid-1970s "golden era,” driven by the soft bump of a rudimentary drum machine and a fluid, weaving disco-meets-bossa-nova groove. So, it’s just like this newsletter. I gotta say I love this track enough to run it on repeat.

Grindr Bets $250 Million on HIV Prevention

Grindr $GRND ( ▼ 5.22% ) is officially expanding beyond hookups, to help users cope with and prevent the… very occasionally unintended consequences of those hookups. In its first major acquisition since launching in 2009, the world’s premier LGBTQ+ dating platform is spending $250 million to acquire PurposeMed, the parent company of HIV prevention telehealth provider Freddie.

The deal—structured as $190 million in cash and $60 million in stock—will integrate PrEP prescriptions, lab testing, and medication delivery directly into the app. Why buy a telehealth firm rather than building one from scratch? Speed and high margins. As Grindr CEO George Arison told CNBC, establishing pharmacies and clinician networks takes years, but once scaled, “As you get more patients, then utilization improves, and then you’re in a very high margin profile.”

This is a massive financial and societal play. Arison envisions healthcare becoming a juggernaut for the company: “Now we have the next business line that we believe will be as profitable as the core business, and the same size, if not bigger, than what the core business is today.”

With over 400,000 U.S. users already indicating on their profiles that they take PrEP and two million more who could benefit, Grindr is sitting on a deeply engaged audience. Beyond diversifying revenue, Arison sees a profound public health opportunity: “My hope and dream here is that we’ll take the 10% growth in PrEP that we see today per year, and maybe double that,” adding that such growth could mean "roughly about 5,000 patients not getting HIV" over five years.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

Free Yourself From Advertising Forever!

How New York's Buildings Are Getting Greener

When you picture carbon emissions in a bustling metropolis like New York City, you probably imagine gridlocked yellow cabs and idling delivery trucks. But in reality, Gotham's real climate culprit isn't transportation, it's the real estate. Buildings account for a staggering 70 percent of New York City's greenhouse gas emissions, largely because pre-war apartment buildings burn fossil fuels to blast steam heat into chronically overheated units.

To fix this, the city is forcing landlords to clean up their act using public transparency and strict legal mandates. First came academic-style energy letter grades posted right inside building entrances. As the Chris Halfnight, CEO of the Urban Green Council explains, the grades are designed to “bring energy efficiency out of the boiler room and into the lobby” so renters and buyers can instantly spot energy wasters.

Then came Local Law 97, which slaps strict carbon caps on buildings over 25,000 square feet, backed by stiff financial penalties for going over budget. While critics feared resistance, initial compliance reached an impressive 95 percent during what the Urban Green Council described as the law’s “warm-up period.”

Meanwhile, local climate-tech startups are deploying clever retrofits to modernize aging infrastructure without ripping out historic facades. Beyond smart boiler sensors and virtual power plants, one of the most exciting innovations is the “window-saddle heat pump.” As the Urban Green Council highlighted, these single-room units sit “over the windowsill like a saddle with an indoor part and an outdoor part,” cutting energy use by “60, 70, 80, even higher percent.”

New York’s push toward net-zero by 2050 proves that with enough regulatory pressure and clever engineering, even 100-year-old steam radiators can learn new green tricks.

Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

👍️ 

Yes. I can hardly believe it, either!

Poll of the Day: Get On Your Hobby Horse!

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