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- Stocks jump as Iran declares the Strait of Hormuz open
Stocks jump as Iran declares the Strait of Hormuz open
Plus: Reed Hastings is stepping down as Netflix chair...what's up with that?
Kristin Lanham won last week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ with this number about the White House warning staffers away from Polymarket and Kalshi trades on the Iran War.
Staff told: do not bet,
son owns the betting platform,
rules are for others
“Thank you! I am honored. I love this competition,” wrote Kristin on Friday.
Here’s your celebratory gif!

(Giphy.com)
And here’s how y’all voted on the competition:
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Tale as old as time, Humans incentivize war, E.T. come save us ~Jon Daigle (36)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Staff told: do not bet, son owns the betting platform, rules are for others ~Kristin Lanham (126)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ A staffer’s mandate: “Don’t bet on it” — ah, rejoice! I only predict! ~Jamie Bolton (47)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ The end of Iran? Please don't bet on it at work. (Unless you're the Don.) ~Hans Leuthold (40)
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 Stop all the betting! Unless it lines my pockets, Then continue on ~Melinda Leeka (121)
370 Votes via @beehiiv polls
This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is about how New York City’s super-rich are complaining about Zohran Mamdami’s tax on second homes, saying the mayor’s proposed levy is “demonizing philanthropists.” Send me your entry — to haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.
And now, news!
Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor
News You Need2Know
What’s the stock market up to, eh?*
Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter
$UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) $NCLH ( ▲ 4.79% ) $RCL ( ▲ 7.34% ) $BLDR ( ▲ 5.48% ) $LEN ( ▲ 4.49% ) $NFLX ( ▼ 9.72% ) $LYV ( ▼ 2.51% ) $TKTMV ( 0.0% ) $SNAP ( ▲ 0.17% ) $XYZ ( ▲ 3.77% ) $IBM ( ▲ 0.98% )
Stocks jump as Iran declares the Strait of Hormuz open

(Google Nano Banana Pro)
Markets saw a major rally on Friday following news that the Strait of Hormuz has reopened for oil tankers. The Dow Jones Industrial Average soared 1,061 points (2.2%), the S&P 500 leaped 1.4%, and the Nasdaq rose 1.6%.
The surge was driven by a 13% plunge in U.S. crude oil prices after Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi said that passage through the strait "is declared completely open" due to a holding ceasefire in Lebanon. President Donald Trump further boosted market optimism by commenting that the war "should be ending pretty soon." While Trump confirmed the U.S. naval blockade remains active for now, he noted a final resolution "should go very quickly in that most of the points are already negotiated.”
Plummeting oil prices led to significant gains for fuel-dependent transport companies, including an 11.2% surge for United Airlines $UAL ( ▲ 7.12% ) and jumps of over 10% for Norwegian Cruise Line $NCLH ( ▲ 4.79% ) and Royal Caribbean $RCL ( ▲ 7.34% ) . Easing inflation fears and dropping Treasury yields also lifted housing stocks like Builders FirstSource $BLDR ( ▲ 5.48% ) and Lennar $LEN ( ▲ 4.49% ) .
Quote of the Day
My real contribution at Netflix wasn’t a single decision.
Netflix co-founder Reed Hastings steps down

(Getty Images)
After nearly three decades of transforming how we consume media, Reed Hastings is officially stepping down from the Netflix $NFLX ( ▼ 9.72% ) board this June to "focus on new things." Having already transitioned out of the co-CEO role in 2023, this marks his final exit from the company's leadership.
Reflecting on his journey from a scrappy DVD mailing service to a global streaming powerhouse, Hastings emphasized his broader legacy over any specific business move.
“My real contribution at Netflix wasn’t a single decision; it was a focus on member joy, building a culture that others could inherit and improve, and building a company that could be both beloved by members and wildly successful for generations to come,” he wrote in a letter to shareholders. He noted that his favorite company milestone occurred in January 2016, when “we enabled nearly the entire planet to enjoy our service.”
Netflix's current co-CEO Ted Sarandos praised his long-time partner, calling Hastings "a true history maker" and noting that he is eager to be "marveling at all he will do next."
So, what exactly is next for the streaming pioneer? He wants to invest in a Utah ski resort. Visionary!
Jury finds Live Nation and Ticketmaster overcharged fans in a monopoly

(Getty Images)
A federal jury in New York has officially declared what concertgoers have suspected for years: Live Nation $LYV ( ▼ 2.51% ) and Ticketmaster $TKTMV ( 0.0% ) operate as an illegal monopoly. The verdict validates long-standing complaints that the entertainment giant stifles competition and artificially drives up fees for fans. The jury determined that Ticketmaster overcharged states by an estimated $1.72 per ticket.
New York Attorney General Letitia James celebrated the outcome: “A jury found what we have long known to be true: Live Nation and Ticketmaster are breaking the law and costing consumers millions of dollars in the process.”
Or, you know, $1.72.
Lawyer Scott Grzenczyk called the decision an “earthquake in the industry.” Live Nation, however, rebuffed the verdict, stating they plan to appeal and insisting it "is not the last word on this matter."
Amazingly, fans won't see ticket prices drop immediately. Judge Arun Subramanian will hold a second trial to decide on remedies, which could potentially include breaking up the company.
Song of the Day: Laufey, “Madwoman”
Widely praised as a sophisticated evolution of Laufey’s signature jazz-pop style, this song blends whimsical 1960s aesthetics with a darker, "unhinged" emotional core…so it’s just like this newsletter.
Has the era of the 'mega-layoff' Arrived?

(Getty Images)
Welcome to the new corporate battlefield, where wielding a heavy ax is celebrated on Wall Street. Instead of quiet, incremental workforce reductions, tech giants and beyond are executing massive, sweeping cuts — and getting rewarded with immediate stock bumps. Recently, Snap $SNAP ( ▲ 0.17% ) eliminated 16% of its staff, and Block $XYZ ( ▲ 3.77% ) slashed a staggering 40% of its workforce. Both companies’ stocks rose substantially on the news.
Block’s CFO Amrita Ahuja described the massive reductions as "an inevitability," noting that "it’s better to be a little bit early than to be too late here." Many investors argue that companies have needed to “right-size” for a long time. Mo Koyfman, founder of Shine Capital, told the Wall Street Journal, “Most companies, if not all, could cut 30% to 50% of their workforce at any time and see no material difference in performance.”
While some attribute the layoffs to pandemic overhiring, AI is increasingly providing cover for the cuts. Former IBM $IBM ( ▲ 0.98% ) engineer Michael Maximilien told the Journal that AI tools are advancing so rapidly that he wonders, "why would I not, in a year, just get more Claude licenses instead of hiring anybody?" With unemployment rising for young, college-educated workers, HR veteran Beth Steinberg warns this trend is only just beginning: "Others are going to follow suit,” she said.
New York City's super rich complain about mayor's tax on second homes

(Getty Images)
As we all know, New York City’s progressive mayor, Zohran Mamdani, has teamed up with Governor Kathy Hochul to introduce a "pied-à-terre" tax on second homes worth over $5 million. Aimed at the "richest of the rich" who "store their wealth in New York City real estate, but who don’t actually live here," the tax is expected to raise at least $500 million annually to help close the city's budget deficit.
Unsurprisingly, Wall Street's elite are furious, and they’ve been sounding off to the Financial Times. Hedge fund billionaire Daniel Loeb accused Mamdani of "stirring up class warfare" and warned, “You can’t tax a city into prosperity and you don’t attract capital by demonising philanthropists.” Fellow billionaire Bill Ackman echoed the sentiment, arguing the tax "will harm the constituencies he is supposedly trying to help."
Cry me a river, guys. Even Donald Trump chimed in on Truth Social, declaring that "Mayor Mamdani is DESTROYING New York!"
The luxury real estate sector is currently debating the potential fallout. Broker Noble Black warned that "these people are not captive," suggesting the wealthy might just stay in hotels instead, which would negatively impact the "normal New Yorkers" whose jobs rely on their spending. However, broker Matthew Lesser dismissed the panic entirely, noting, “whenever anyone doubts New York they’re proven wrong.”
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