This week’s world famous news haiku competition is about how your summer vacation is a “retirement killer.” Send me your entry—to haiku at cheddar dot com—by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers. (Don’t worry if/when you get a bounceback email. The mailbox is working, it’s just been inundated with haikus lately!)

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News you Need2Know

• Stocks On Track For Best Quarter Since 2020

• It's Going to Be Hot Hot Hot This Weekend

• Why 'Hot Girls' Are All Buying Old SUVs for $

• Student Loan Debt Trapping Americans Forever

• SCOTUS Overturns Efforts to End Birthright Citizen …

• Poll of the Day: H..h…h…hot!

What’s the Stock Market Up To, Eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.79% )  $DJI ( ▲ 0.26% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies Mentioned in Today’s Newsletter

$AAPL ( ▲ 2.71% )  $MSFT ( ▲ 1.21% )  $META ( ▲ 0.12% )  $TSLA ( ▲ 2.13% )  $SNDK ( ▲ 10.89% )  $MU ( ▲ 0.79% )  $INTC ( ▲ 6.01% )  $WDC ( ▼ 2.02% )  $NVDA ( ▲ 2.63% )  $F ( ▼ 0.86% )  $MBGAF ( ▲ 0.97% )  

Stocks On Track For Best Quarter Since 2020

The S&P500 is still down 1.5% from its record highs in early June, and the Nasdaq may be down 4% from the same highs. But the S&P 500 is still on course for its strongest quarter since the pandemic recovery in 2020:

Despite the benchmark success, the "Magnificent 7" tech stocks are all off. In a violent market rotation, giants like Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 2.71% ) , Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.21% ) , Meta $META ( ▲ 0.12% ) , and Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 2.13% ) have collectively shed over $2.2 trillion in value in June. Investors are increasingly skeptical about Big Tech's massive AI spending. As Vincent Mortier, chief investment officer at Amundi, told the Financial Times, “The big question mark is: will these [Big Tech] players be able to monetize these investments at scale? The jury is out, to be honest.”

Instead, investors are pivoting to the hardware side of the AI boom. Specific stocks in the semiconductor sector are still skyrocketing: Sandisk $SNDK ( ▲ 10.89% ) has surged by roughly 825% this year, while Micron $MU ( ▲ 0.79% ) , Intel $INTC ( ▲ 6.01% ) , and Western Digital $WDC ( ▼ 2.02% ) have more than tripled. Portfolio manager Simone Ragazzi told the FT: “We are not [investing in] any of the Mag 7, apart from a bit of Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 2.63% ) … But we are very long in the companies seeing the benefit of this spending... These companies are off the charts.”

Quote of the Day

It's Going to Be Hot Hot Hot This Weekend

If your Fourth of July plans involve being outside, you might want to reconsider and just hug your air conditioner instead. A massive "heat dome" is parking itself right over the central and eastern United States this week. Temperatures across much of the country won’t drop below 80 degrees at night, with temperatures reaching 105 degrees in some places. So, if you were planning on partaking in rigorous physical activity, maybe don't?

Naturally, everyone is going to be blasting their ACs, which brings its own drama. As AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Alan Reppert casually warned, "The extreme heat and humidity are expected to bring near-record, or possibly record, energy usage to the mid-Atlantic power providers." ”This is especially critical on Thursday, as some companies could see possible power cuts to stabilize the grid if it becomes unstable," he added.

So we’ll be roasting in the dark! Boooo!

Experts say to stay hydrated and seek shade. Also look forward to the "ring-of-fire thunderstorms" coming to break up the dome on Sunday.

Why 'Hot Girls' Are All Buying Old SUVs for $

Who needs a modern, reliable, luxury vehicle when you can drop six figures on a loud, bumpy gas-guzzler with crank windows? Move over, shiny new G-Wagons—the ultimate "hot girl" status symbol is now a vintage Ford $F ( ▼ 0.86% ) Bronco or Land Rover Defender that costs more than a starter home.

For these affluent young women, modern safety features like backup cameras and reliable airbags are passé. As 20-year-old Lauren Drexel told the Wall Street Journal about her Jeep Sahara, “I kind of just YOLO it.” Content creator Tezza Barton, who dropped around $100,000 on a 1995 Mercedes $MBGAF ( ▲ 0.97% ) SUV, beams about her purchase: “I’ll just sit in a coffee shop and watch a million girls take a photo in front of my car... It’s the perfect backdrop.”

The absurd, never-ending maintenance costs just add to the exclusive vibe, proving you have endless cash to burn. Jim Levi, who rents these relics out for photoshoots, told the Journal: “If you buy a Defender for $70,000, it will be the best $120,000 you ever spent.” And forget about a smooth, quiet ride. Web designer Becca Elliott totally justifies her $76,000 purchase, claiming, “A G-Wagon is for a rich girl who does Pilates, and a Vintage Defender is for a girl who has edge... It is loud and slow, and would make someone impatient lose their minds... But it’s got that wow factor.”

Song of the Day: Johnny Cash, ‘Ring of Fire’

To commemorate the thunderstorms on their way this weekend.

Student Loan Debt Trapping Americans Forever

Retirement is supposed to be about sipping piña coladas on a beach and spoiling your grandkids. But a growing number of Americans in their 60s and 70s are spending their golden years frantically trying to pay off their student loans. Welcome to the American Dream, where your student loans last longer than your original hip joints!

The average balance on people’s student loans actually increases into their 60s.

Take Chris McAuliffe, an engineer in his 60s who’s staring down a half-million-dollar student loan balance with his wife. His main takeaway for the Wall Street Journal, from decades of working hard and paying bills? “I regret going to college.”

Thanks to the dark magic of compounding interest, borrowers are watching their balances multiply like neglected Chia Pets. As 72-year-old Sharon Durkee bluntly noted, “I owe more in student debt than I owe on my house.”

She is out hunting for part-time gigs to pay down the debt. Good luck, Sharon!

The absolute MVP of dark retirement comedy is 71-year-old Robert Lee. He took out Parent Plus loans so his kids could succeed. “They’ve done well,” he says, before deadpanning, “I’m still footing this bill.” Staring down another $51,000 of debt on a fixed income, Robert sums up the senior citizen student debt crisis: “I feel like Jimmy Stewart in the movie ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ I’m worth more dead than I am alive.”

Oof.

It’s a great movie, though, Robert. Thanks for reminding me. Better tee that up for Christmas, eh?

SCOTUS Overturns Efforts to End Birthright Citizenship

In a major 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court has officially struck down President Trump’s executive order that attempted to end birthright citizenship in the U.S.

Chief Justice John Roberts wrote the majority opinion, firmly stating that the 14th Amendment protects citizenship for anyone born on U.S. soil. Emphasizing the constitutional guarantee, Roberts wrote, “Citizenship, then and now, was the right to have rights.”

Civil rights advocates are breathing a sigh of relief. As Harvard sociologist Mary Waters put it, “This averts a catastrophe,” noting that birthright citizenship is the “linchpin” of American assimilation. Cecillia Wang of the ACLU, who argued the case, celebrated the victory, adding, “A president cannot change the Constitution by executive fiat.” For many families, the ruling brings immense personal joy; as one mother involved in the case noted, this upcoming Fourth of July will “feel even more special.”

Not everyone is celebrating, however. Justice Samuel Alito’s dissent slammed the ruling as a “serious mistake”, and Speaker Mike Johnson said he was “very disappointed.” President Trump took to social media to call the outcome “too bad for our Country,” but insisted he could “easily make it up in Congress through Legislation.” However, attempting to pass such a ban through Congress carries severe political risks for Republicans. With midterm elections looming, lawmakers fear that a vote against birthright citizenship could anger Hispanic voters and threaten the party's narrow majorities in both the House and the Senate.

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Should You Check Your 401(k) Today?

👎️ 

Still a no, I’m afraid. Maybe eventually, but not yet.

Poll of the Day: H..h…h…hot!

Poll of the Day: Ruh-R’O-h-Pen-AI

We asked:

You answered:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I think the delay means nothing. They'll just IPO at $1 trillion valuation in 2027. (51)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'd be surprised if their valuation doesn't shrink further by then. They're in trouble. (75)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I expect them to be bought out by Anthropic or another AI rival by 2027. They've lost all their momentum and I expect them to be the first major casualty of the AI Bubble. (193)

319 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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