Happy Wednesday, !

This week’s world-famous news haiku competition™ is, in somewhat timely news, about the Supreme Court ruling that emergency powers don’t cover imposing tariffs. Send me your entry — to our spiffy email address, haiku at cheddar dot com — by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers.

D’oh! Almost forgot the news you Need2Know! Here…

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• Stocks rebound on AI upside reminder

• Sizing up the U.S. economy over the last year

• Uber will let you book a parking spot now

• Amazon to invest $12B in Louisiana data centers

• Peace Corps goes high-tech as U.S. launches ‘Tech …

• Poll of the day: If you don’t like the weather, wa …

• Bonus poll of the day: Greek villa it is

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.77% ) $DJI ( ▲ 0.76% ) $NDX ( ▲ 1.04% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

 $AMD ( ▲ 8.77% )  $META ( ▲ 0.32% )  $IBM ( ▲ 2.67% )  $OWL ( ▲ 2.78% )  $CRM ( ▲ 4.08% )  $APP ( ▲ 3.31% )  $FDS ( ▲ 5.9% )  $HD ( ▲ 1.99% )  $KEYS ( ▲ 23.05% )  $COIN ( ▲ 1.12% )  $MCD ( ▼ 0.45% )  $GS ( ▲ 1.12% )  $UBER ( ▲ 0.93% )  

Stocks rebound on AI upside reminder

You can just imagine I led this story with a picture of a happy stock market trader. We’ve all seen them so often that I figure I can just write the description and you’ll play along. No? Okay. Okay. Here:

The U.S. stock market saw a rally on Tuesday, fueled by renewed excitement around artificial intelligence and better-than-expected earnings from key players in the economy. This turn came after Monday’s selloff, which stemmed from (checks notes) fears over the exact same issues. What a difference a day makes. 🤷

Advanced Micro Devices $AMD ( ▲ 8.77% ) helped lead the market and rallied 8.9% after announcing a multiyear deal where it will supply chips to Meta $META ( ▲ 0.32% ) . It’s a reminder of the excitement that built in recent years about the billions of dollars pouring into AI.

More of the rebound was led by IBM $IBM ( ▲ 2.67% ) , recovering 2.9% of its sharp 13.1% drop from the previous day — its worst since 2000. Blue Owl Capital $OWL ( ▲ 2.78% ) also trimmed its losses, rising 3.8%, despite lingering concerns about loan repayments tied to software companies. Salesforce $CRM ( ▲ 4.08% ) climbed 4.2%, while AppLovin $APP ( ▲ 3.31% ) added 3.5%.

AI optimism gained steam after Anthropic announced business-oriented tools for its Claude AI assistant, ranging from human resources to investment banking. Dan Ives, analyst at Wedbush, remarked, "While these use cases are impressive, the reality is that these new AI tools will not rip and replace existing software ecosystems." FactSet $FDS ( ▲ 5.9% ) , benefiting from these AI tools, surged 6.4%.

Outside AI, Home Depot $HD ( ▲ 1.99% ) exceeded profit expectations and rose 2.1%. Meanwhile Keysight Technologies $KEYS ( ▲ 23.05% ) spiked an impressive 21.3% driven by a stellar Q1 2026 earnings beat. Even Coinbase Global $COIN ( ▲ 1.12% ) managed a 0.1% gain as Bitcoin hovered near $64,000.

What will the markets do today, though, eh? This isn’t a time for the faint-hearted investor…

Sizing up the U.S. economy over the last year

Last night, the president gave an unsurprising “A-plus-plus-plus-plus-plus” assessment of the U.S. economy in his State of the Union speech. Konrad Putzier, an economics expert at the Wall Street Journal, took apart the data, however, and describes the last year’s economic performance as a “mixed bag.”

Who’s right?

Well. Job creation slowed notably, with U.S. employers adding only 181,000 jobs in 2025— the lowest annual figure in over two decades outside of a recession. Economists attributed the weak hiring to economic and trade uncertainty as well as Mr. Trump’s immigration restrictions, which reduced the pool of available workers. Yet, unemployment remains relatively low at 4.3%, benefiting from fewer new workers entering the job market. Goldman Sachs $GS ( ▲ 1.12% ) reported net immigration halved to 500,000 in 2025, a stark drop from prior decades.

On the inflation front, prices have cooled to 2.4% in January 2026 from 3% the previous year, despite trade wars and tariffs. The New York Federal Reserve found that U.S. households shouldered 90% of the tariff burden. Meanwhile, stock markets boomed, with the Dow passing 50,000 and the S&P 500 surging 33% since April 2025, driven by AI-related investments.

Ultimately, Trump’s "new golden age" remains aspirational. While wages grew, wealthier households saw larger benefits, underscoring what economists call a "K-shaped recovery." Still, it doesn’t universally suck.

It really does suck if you need to get your car serviced, of course. Vehicle repair costs saw dramatic increases, with some reports noting a roughly 11% increase over the last year. Motor vehicle insurance rates also continued to climb, rising 5.3% from the previous year, with total increases over 50% since the pandemic began. Coffee prices also spiked by over 18% from late 2024 to late 2025 — and don’t get me started on bacon inflation (it’s $7.21 a pound now).

🥓

I said…don’t get me started on bacon inflation.

Quote of the Day

Uber will let you book a parking spot now

Just when you thought Uber $UBER ( ▲ 0.93% ) had grown out of its disruptive “get big fast” experimental phase, the ride-hailing giant is back at it again — this time, with a bold strategy: Parking.

Uber is acquiring SpotHero, the Chicago-based parking reservation app, in case your primary thought while booking an Uber was, “Where will I park...my other car?”

While terms of the deal weren’t disclosed, CEO Dara Khosrowshahi is hyped about adding parking to the Uber app. “For the moments when people do choose to drive, SpotHero on the Uber app will make the experience easier than ever,” Khosrowshahi said. Translation? Uber wants to help you not use Uber...but still use Uber. It’s all very meta, but not actually $META ( ▲ 0.32% ) , of course.

SpotHero has been around since 2011, with parking deals at 13,000 locations across 400 North American cities. Meanwhile, Uber — flush from reporting strong fourth-quarter revenue yet battling “soft” profit guidance — decided it was time to go beyond rides, food, and groceries. SpotHero CEO Mark Lawrence optimistically said, “Whoo-hoo! We’re RICH!” “Joining forces with Uber will make parking a natural part of the Uber platform.”

What’s next for Uber? A grocery store? A laundromat? A nap?

Song of the Day: The Neighbourhood, ‘Good Grief’

This band broke up in 2020. Now they’re back together and writing about breakups. C’est la vie…

Free yourself from advertising forever!

Amazon to invest $12B in Louisiana data centers

Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 1.6% ) is making a colossal splash in Louisiana with plans to invest a whopping $12 billion in cutting-edge data centers deep in the heart of Cajun Country. These data centers, set to rise in the Caddo and Bossier Parishes, aim to supercharge Amazon’s cloud and AI services like a hot sauce kick to a bowl of gumbo. This investment promises to brew up 540 full-time jobs while supporting an additional 1,700 lagniappe roles, including electricians, HVAC specialists, and security personnel.

Did I include enough Lousiana clichés yet? No? Well: Laissez les bons temps rouler!

"Most of Amazon's spending is expected to go to AI-related initiatives, including data centers, chips, and networking equipment," the company explained, eyeing its rivals Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.18% ) , Google $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.19% ) , and Meta $META ( ▲ 0.32% ) in the race for AI dominance. The tech behemoth's $200-billion capital expenditure for 2026 firmly pins Louisiana on the map of AI innovation.

Down on the bayou, the company also promised invest up to $400 million in public water infrastructure, keeping the Mississippi flowing smooth like a jazz band’s improv. (MAKE IT STOP —ed.)

Grab your Mardi Gras beads and pour yourself a tall glass of sweet tea, friends. (YOU’RE FIRED —ed.)

Peace Corps goes high-tech as U.S. launches ‘Tech Corps’

The United States is stepping up its game in the global AI race with the launch of a “Tech Corps” initiative under the Peace Corps program. Announced by the White House on Friday, this new effort aims to export American AI expertise abroad, support partner nations’ AI adoption, and counter China’s growing influence in the sector.

The Tech Corps will recruit skilled volunteers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics, deploying them to nations participating in the AI Exports Program. Volunteers will focus on applying AI solutions to grassroots issues across key sectors such as agriculture, education, health, and economic development. Michael Kratsios, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, emphasized the goal at India’s inaugural AI Impact Summit: “Real AI sovereignty means owning and using best-in-class technology for the benefit of your people,” he said.

I’m sure that went down a real treat in a company famous for producing the best STEM students in the world, especially since the U.S. has been cutting down on popular H1-B visas for its tech geniuses by 46%.

India, a prominent participant, is also joining the U.S.-led Pax Silica initiative, aimed at securing the global supply chain for silicon-based technologies. During the summit, acting Peace Corps director Richard E. Swarttz declared, “AI is the future, and as the undisputed world leader in AI technology, the United States, through the Tech Corps, will be at the forefront of delivering these benefits.”

Imagine thinking you’d get to America if you worked hard but then hearing that Americans were coming to you. Not ideal, I’d imagine.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️ 

Yes, but bear in mind it was horrific on Monday. Maybe wait another few days?

Poll of the day: If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute

Bonus poll of the day: Greek villa it is

You helped my wife and I pick a paint color for our new bedroom. I ordered two gallons! Thank you! We asked: Pick a color. You answered:

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Naive Peach" (70)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "They call it Mellow" (48)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 "Greek Villa" (230)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Pine Frost" (57)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Jersey Cream" (32)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Fresh Zest" (85)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Wild Lime" (37)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Sea Salt" (135)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Piedmont." (104)

798 Votes via @beehiiv polls

Poll of the day: You’re with Groucho

We asked: How do you feel about JPMorgan's $2B-a-week spending plans?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Working Men of All Countries, Unite!" — Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels (29)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "The theory of Communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all private property." — Karl Marx (17)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communistic revolution." — Karl Marx (28)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is cruelty." — Karl Marx (25)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks." — Karl Marx (68)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 “While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” — Groucho Marx (272)

439 Votes via @beehiiv polls

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