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This week’s world famous news haiku competition is about how your summer vacation is a “retirement killer.” Advice from last week’s now hat-trick winner of this competition, Susan Weinstein, is to “rage at the world” for inspiration. Shouldn’t be too hard, should it? Send me your entry—to haiku at cheddar dot com—by noon ET Thursday, for consideration by your Cheddar peers. (Don’t worry if/when you get a bounceback email. The mailbox is working, it’s just been inundated with haikus lately!)

Matt Davis — Need2Know Chedditor

News you Need2Know

• Stocks Rise in Welcome Change After Last Week

• Supreme Court Blocks Efforts to Fire Fed Governor …

• Comcast Stock Soars as It Spins Off Sky and NBC

• Eyeing SpaceX, OpenAI Delays IPO to 2027

• Inside Flippy Fry Station, the AI Deep Frier

• Poll of the Day: OpenAI Float, or Open AI Sink?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 1.18% )  $DJI ( ▲ 0.59% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% )  

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

$SPCX ( ▲ 7.15% )  $VZ ( ▼ 5.24% )  $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 1.74% )  $ANTHZZX ( ▲ 1.03% )  $SPCX ( ▲ 7.15% )  $CMCSA ( ▲ 4.53% )  

Stocks Rise in Welcome Change After Last Week

U.S. stocks recovered a bit yesterday from a rare losing week, with the S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 1.18% ) climbing to break a five-day losing streak. The Dow Jones Industrial Average and the Nasdaq composite also gained ground $DJI ( ▲ 0.59% )  $NDX ( ▲ 1.59% ) . The S&P is still down about 2% from its early June highs and the Nasdaq is down 5% from its highs over the same period, but at least there wasn’t a further drop-off to start the new week, eh?

AI stocks also saw gains after Korean firms Samsung Electronics and SK Hynix announced they will invest roughly $518 billion in a South Korean chipmaking hub. SpaceX $SPCX ( ▲ 7.15% ) rose 1.5% and once again achieved a valuation of more than $2 trillion. Its upcoming addition to the Nasdaq 100 on July 7 will force index-tracking funds to buy the stock. Conversely, Verizon Communications $VZ ( ▼ 5.24% ) dropped 6% after announcing it is paying $625 million for a joint venture with BT Group.

Markets also gained despite rising oil prices, with Brent crude reaching $73.46 as Iran and the U.S. continued to engage in isolated skirmishes over the weekend. Traders seem content to write these off as the last sputters of the war. Fingers crossed, eh?

Quote of the day

Supreme Court Blocks Efforts to Fire Fed Governor Lisa Cook

The Supreme Court threw a judicial wrench into President Trump's plans to fire Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook yesterday. In a tight 5-4 decision, Chief Justice John Roberts essentially told the President that he can't just eliminate a central banker like a contestant on “The Apprentice.”

Roberts explained, “Under our precedents, Cook was entitled to notice and some opportunity to respond prior to her termination.” He pointed out that giving the President unchecked firing power “would allow the President to remove a member of the Federal Reserve at any time, for any reason,” warning: “That would turn for-cause protection into little more than at-will employment.” He also stressed that “not only the fact of independence but also the appearance of independence is key to the Federal Reserve’s design.”

The official excuse for the firing was some 2021 mortgage paperwork drama. Trump claimed Cook had misrepresented her finances in order to obtain more favorable mortgage terms. Ms. Cook has not been charged with a crime, and has denied any wrongdoing. She also fiercely clapped back: “This was never about mortgage documents... It was an attempt to remove me on a manufactured pretext because I refused to bow to political pressure.”

President Trump renewed his intention to try and fire Cook on Monday, after the decision. In a social media post, Mr. Trump described the Supreme Court’s 5-to-4 decision as “procedural,” adding that he would “take appropriate action immediately to make sure that someone who has committed wrongdoing will not be making vital decisions concerning the Welfare of the United States of America!”

Comcast Stock Soars as It Spins Off Sky and NBC

Comcast $CMCSK ( 0.0% )  has decided that mashing a sprawling media empire together with your internet bill was actually a terrible idea. The telecom giant is spinning off NBCUniversal, Sky, and its theme parks into a shiny new standalone media company, leaving the old Comcast with just broadband, wireless, and cable TV operations. Basically, they are keeping the routers and ditching the Minions.

After suffering a dismal year with shares down roughly 17% to 30%, investors immediately cheered the news of the impending split, sending the stock jumping up to 22% over the weekend. A corporate divorce, it turns out, can be lucrative.

How did executives explain this massive strategic backtrack? Co-CEO Mike Cavanagh said: “We simply don’t see these conditions changing anytime soon,” adding, “So where previously we believed that the scale and diversification benefits warranted operating these businesses as one company, we now have simply changed our mind about that.”

Whoops!

Meanwhile, Chairman Brian Roberts tried to dress up the billion-dollar breakup as a conscious uncoupling, claiming: “This is not about separating what we have built together, it’s about positioning two exceptional businesses to move forward with greater focus, agility, and the ability to fully capitalize on opportunities ahead.”

Naturally, the company sent a reassuring memo telling employees this whole ordeal simply marks “a new beginning,” which sounds like something Kim Jong-Un would write to the people in North Korea, doesn’t it?

Song of the day: Rolling Stones, ‘Jealous Lover’

"Jealous Lover" is a soulful, R&B-infused single released last week by The Rolling Stones, the third third advance track from their 25th official studio album, “Foreign Tongues,” which is scheduled for release on July 10. The track channels a slinky, slow groove reminiscent of their 1978 classic "Miss You." Reviews have been overwhelmingly positive. I’m impressed they can turn a track like this out in their 80s.

Eyeing SpaceX, OpenAI Delays IPO to 2027

OpenAI $OPEAZZX ( ▲ 1.74% ) has put the brakes on its highly anticipated IPO, potentially pushing the massive payday out to 2027. Or, you know, never.

Why the delay? CEO Sam Altman is dead-set on securing a staggering $1 trillion valuation, a hefty bump from the startup's previous $730 billion price tag. However, advisers are getting cold feet after watching the recent debut of Elon Musk’s SpaceX $SPCX ( ▲ 7.15% ) . While the rocket company launched with a massive $1.77 trillion valuation, its stock quickly tumbled back to Earth, dropping from $202 down to $153 in a matter of days. Fearing a similar fate and a lack of enthusiasm from retail investors, OpenAI's advisers presented Altman with a choice: lower the target valuation for a quicker IPO, or hold off until 2027.

According to an insider, Altman made it completely clear that lowering the trillion-dollar asking price was a "nonstarter."

So the company is just hunkering down. While OpenAI has started dropping expensive "side quests" like its video generator Sora, the startup is still aggressively burning cash on new data centers and poaching top-tier engineering talent.

The firm is lagging way behind rival Anthropic, whose valuation now stands at $965 billion, based on annual revenues of $47 billion. By comparison, OpenAI’s revenues are annualized around $25 billion. Anthropic still plans to IPO, likely in the fall.

Inside Flippy Fry Station, the AI Deep Frier

The restaurant industry is facing unprecedented labor challenges, but Miso Robotics has a futuristic solution: Flippy, the AI-powered robotic fry cook.

Flippy is designed to take over one of the most dangerous and grueling kitchen jobs. Miso Robotics CEO Rich Hull explains, “Flippy automates the fry station entirely at any restaurant. So he cooks anything a human can cook. It's 70 plus different fried items."

Beyond its versatility, Flippy is highly efficient. Hull notes that the robot “does it twice as fast. He cooks it 100% perfect every time. And he does it cheaper than a human."

Hull, who clearly doesn’t come from a Labor Union background, highlights that the robot "works 24 hours a day if you want him to. So he never takes a smoke break, he never calls his girlfriend, he never sues you.” This allows restaurants to redeploy their staff to more valuable tasks, he says.

“It's really hard to find even a human that wants to do that job for 90 days,” Hull says, adding, “Why don't we let humans do human things like talking to customers, checking the quality, even washing dishes?”

Furthermore, Flippy significantly improves workplace safety by eliminating the risk of hot oil injuries. As Hull points out, "Everybody burns themselves at the fry station... we get rid of that entirely.”

Free yourself from advertising forever!

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Still a no, I’m afraid. Maybe eventually, but not yet.

Poll of the Day: OpenAI Float, or Open AI Sink?

Poll of the Day: You’re So Wise

Which financial crime are you most likely to commit against your future self this summer?

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ $300 on fancy sunglasses at the airport. (11)
🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ $10,000 on a fancy vacation somewhere. (107)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ $10 on a daily beach ice cream when you get there. (67)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ $30,000 on a post-divorce yacht, because you never took your spouse on vacation or bought them an ice cream or sunglasses. (3)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ $1,000 on your annual streaming service, because NFL Red Zone and Netflix and Amazon Prime and Paramount+ and HBO and Disney+ aren't exactly optional. (80)
🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ "Retirement" is a scam, it's just a way for Elon Musk to get his hands on my savings. I say, let's commit ALL THESE FINANCIAL CRIMES IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER! CARPE DIEM! (72)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I actually could resist all of these expenses in favor of saving into my retirement, because I have self-control and good judgement, and can read a compound interest calculator. (192)
532 Votes

via @beehiiv polls

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