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Hello, N2K’ers!

Elise has won this week’s world famous News Haiku^TM competition about Robert Redford’s death at 89, with this beauty:

Here’s your prize, Elise! It’s the man himself, celebrating sweatah weathah….

Thanks to everyone who voted and to all who entered. Just like Mr. Redford’s cheekbones, the quality of last week’s poetry was particularly high. This week’s world famous News Haiku^TM competition challenges you to base a haiku on a new word or expression from Merriam Webster’s dictionary. 

Email me by Thursday at noon ET with your entry! *And of course, your submissions to this competition are subject to Cheddar’s terms of service. But you knew that already, didn’t you?*

Now let’s talk about this week’s news you Need2Know, shall we?

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• New ‘words’: Hard pass, Cold brew, Dad bod

• Does the TikTok deal actually honor the law?

• Listeria in meatballs links to deadly fettuccine

• Big pharma stocks rise on presidential tariff plan

• Profit margin on home-flipping hits 17-year low

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▲ 0.59% ) $DJI ( ▲ 0.65% ) $NDX ( ▲ 0.44% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Merriam Webster, TikTok, $MRK ( ▲ 1.24% )  $LLY ( ▲ 1.39% )  $JNJ ( ▲ 1.11% )  $WMT ( ▲ 0.11% )  

New ‘words’: Hard pass, Cold brew, Dad bod

Language is ever-evolving so Merriam-Webster has once again proven its adaptability by unveiling 5,000 new words in the 12th edition of its “Collegiate Dictionary.” The last print edition was released 22 years ago — the last time my slang had an update, as it happens.

Among the fresh additions are words and phrases that have now become part of our daily lexicon. Tech-inspired terms like “teraflop” (a measure of computing speed) and “dumbphone” (a pre-smartphone mobile device) have also made the cut. “Ghost kitchen,” a commercial kitchen space used by food delivery services, reflects changes brought about by the pandemic. Here’s some more new words you Need2Know:

• Rizz: Short for charisma; the ability to attract others. (I of course knew this word already.)

• Cold brew: Coffee made by steeping ground coffee in cold water for an extended period. (Make mine a decaf.)

• Dad bod: A physique regarded as typical of an average father, characterized by a slight paunch. (I of course have never heard of this expression, nor would I need to.)

• Adulting: The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially in accomplishing mundane but necessary tasks. (LOL)

• Beast mode: Displaying extreme effort and energy, especially in a competitive context. (I wouldn’t know this one, either, to be fair.)

• Doomscroll: The act of spending an excessive amount of screen time devoted to the absorption of negative news (which is why we do the news haikus, friends).

• WFH: Abbreviation for "work from home," describing a remote work situation outside of the traditional office (unlike this newsletter, which is produced at Cheddar’s glamorous HQ every single day).

• Side-eye: A sidelong glance expressing disapproval or skepticism. 👀

Song of the day: Meghan Dowlen, ‘Dizzy Spell’

“Satiny funk radiating an independent glamour,” says one reviewer of this Atlanta-based artist’s new single. Enjoy!

Does the TikTok deal actually honor the law?

The proposed deal to transition TikTok into U.S. ownership is drawing heightened scrutiny from lawmakers, with Rep. John Moolenaar (R-MI), chair of the cuddly-named House Select Committee on the Chinese Communist Party, calling for an urgent White House briefing.

While Moolenaar praised the deal as “an important step” toward American ownership, he cautioned that “divestment was not the law’s only requirement.” His primary concern lies in ensuring there are clear legal guardrails that sever operational ties and eliminate any influence from ByteDance, TikTok’s Chinese parent company.

The deal, supported by a recent executive order, proposes licensing TikTok’s ByteDance-owned algorithm. However, security experts like Craig Singleton, senior China fellow at the Foundation for Defense of Democracies, question whether this truly meets the law’s demands for divestiture. “The law is clear: divestiture means severance, not supervision,” Singleton told the Associated Press. He argued that allowing ByteDance even a limited board presence ensures ongoing Chinese influence. “ByteDance on the board means Beijing in the building,” Singleton warns. Ruh-roh.

Critics also point to broader issues regarding TikTok’s algorithm. Computer scientist Bart Knijnenburg noted that its addictive design remains a problem regardless of ownership. “Moving it to the U.S. is not going to magically solve these types of problems,” he stressed. Although if we’re going to talk about addictive social media platforms we could start a lot closer than China, am I right?

Today on the ‘gram: CFAs, look out…

Post of the day: This is (chef’s kiss) gold

Quote of the Day

Listeria in meatballs links to deadly fettuccine

And to think my editor is sometimes like, “Matt why are your headlines so boring?”

Federal health officials have issued a warning to consumers about potential listeria contamination in certain heat-and-eat beef meatball pasta meals sold at Walmart $WMT ( ▲ 0.11% ) stores. The U.S. Agriculture Department (USDA) released a public health alert for Marketside Linguine with Beef Meatballs & Marinara Sauce packaged in 12-ounce clear plastic trays. These products, with best-by dates ranging from September 22 to October 1, may still be in refrigerators nationwide.

The affected meals, which contain establishment numbers "EST. 50784" and "EST. 47718," were distributed nationwide and may be linked to the strain of listeria responsible for a deadly outbreak earlier this year. That outbreak — tied to chicken fettuccine Alfredo sold at Walmart and Kroger stores — resulted in three deaths and at least 17 illnesses.

FreshRealm, the company that supplied the meatball linguine meals, conducted tests that detected the listeria and stated, “We have long maintained that the source of the listeria was likely an ingredient supplied by a third party.” The pasta in question was sourced from Nate’s Fine Foods, based in California.

As Julia Child would say, “Bon-appetit!”

Check your meatball labels and discard those affected products toute-de-suite.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Absolutely not.

Big pharma stocks rise on presidential tariff plan

Shares of major pharmaceutical companies saw slight gains on Friday following President Donald Trump’s announcement of a new tariff plan targeting the drug industry. The plan introduces a 100% import tax on branded or patented pharmaceuticals starting October 1 but exempts companies actively building or expanding U.S. manufacturing facilities.

Several big pharmaceutical firms like Merck & Co. $MRK ( ▲ 1.24% ) , Eli Lilly $LLY ( ▲ 1.39% ) , and Johnson & Johnson $JNJ ( ▲ 1.11% ) , which have already announced expansion plans in the U.S., appear poised to benefit.

Smaller drugmakers and generic drug manufacturers may be more vulnerable. Generics, which account for the majority of U.S. prescriptions, were notably absent from the announcement. There are concerns about how terms like “breaking ground” and “under construction” will be defined, as well as the potential for legal challenges.

Like, you know, I’m planning to build a McMansion in Texas. Soon.

Profit margin on home-flipping hits 17-year low

Spare a tear for the poor home-flippers, would you?

It turns out home-flipping, once a reliable way to capitalize on the housing market, rather than to treat homes as, you know, homes for people to live in, is becoming less profitable as high home prices squeeze investors’ margins. According to a report by real estate data firm Attom, the average return on investment (ROI) for flipped homes dropped to a paltry 25.1% in the second quarter of 2025 — the lowest since 2008.

25% profit on $400k is still $100k, of course, but you could probably earn more than that trading crypto, bro. #NotFinancialAdvice

“We’re seeing very low profit margins from home flipping because of the historically high cost of homes,” said Attom CEO Rob Barber. He added, “The initial buy-in for properties that are ideal for flipping, often lower-priced homes that may need some work, keeps going up.”

In Q2, the median price for homes purchased by investors hit $259,700 — a record high since Attom began tracking this data in 2000. The median sales price of flipped homes stood at $325,000.

Despite shrinking returns, home-flipping remains widespread. Flipped homes accounted for 7.4% of U.S. home sales in Q2, while investors purchased 33% of all homes sold during the period.

Poll of the day: Flippin’ heck.