Hello, N2K’ers!

The winner of Cheddar’s first ever world-famous News Haiku™ competition is Peter Adams, a longtime Need2Know reader who wrote his first computer program on paper tape in the mid-1970s. Now, his Haiku about the president’s feud with the Fed chair is world-famous and perhaps an even more significant achievement in real terms than writing one of the world’s first computer programs.

🥁 (drumroll)

Here it is…

Poetry! About the news. Here’s your prize, Peter. It’s a gif that summarizes our feelings about you and your poetic abilities:

We contacted Peter on Friday evening to tell him he’d won.

“Wow! What an honor!” he wrote. No jokes. “And as a loyal Bostonian, I should add ‘Cheddah forevah!’”

Thanks, too, to the dozens of you who sent in your own entries. There were some excellent ones, and you’re all very special indeed. Thanks also to Need2Know readers who overwhelmingly voted for Peter’s haiku as last week’s winner!

This week, our world-famous News Haiku™ competition theme is that hiring numbers are down, and what might that mean? Send me a haiku on the subject by Thursday at noon, Eastern, right here. Winner gets glory — lots of glory, and a gif!

Now, let’s talk about the news you Need2Know?

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

News You Need2Know

• Wall Street slumps on weak hiring and new tariffs

• Figma’s IPO reminds us markets love tech floats

• Ikea and Best Buy launch new ‘shop in shop’

• Nintendo posts strong profits on new Switch

• Is your Celsius really a High Noon?

What’s the stock market up to, eh?

$SPX ( ▼ 1.6% ) $DJI ( ▼ 1.23% ) $NDX ( ▼ 2.24% )

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter*

$FIG ( ▲ 5.63% )  $ADBE ( ▼ 2.77% )  $BBY ( ▼ 1.45% ) IKEA $CVS ( ▲ 0.6% )  

*We’re mentioning private companies here now, too.

Wall Street slumps on weak hiring and new tariffs

Wall Street endured a rough week as markets reacted to disappointing job growth numbers and renewed tariff uncertainty. The S&P 500 fell 1.5%, or a few grand if you have a chunky portfolio. The U.S. economy added only 73,000 jobs in July, falling drastically short of economists’ expectations. Even more staggering were the revisions to May and June’s hiring numbers, which cut 258,000 jobs from previous reports, further reinforcing fears of a weakening economy.

Trump took aim at the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) over the weak jobs report, announcing he had directed for BLS Commissioner Erika McEntarfer to be fired. In a social media post, Trump claimed the jobs data has been “manipulated for political purposes” and promised McEntarfer would be replaced by someone “much more competent and qualified.” The president supplied no evidence to support his claims of manipulation.

The weak hiring report rattled investors, leading to sharp declines in Treasury yields. Wall Street is now firmly anticipating an interest rate cut at the Fed’s September meeting, with traders seeing an 80% chance of a quarter-point rate cut — all up significantly from 38% just the day prior.

Markets were also weighed down by President Donald Trump’s announcement of a revamped tariff plan, extending the deadline for import taxes to August 7 for nations still negotiating trade deals.

Song of the day: Buddy Guy, ‘How Blues Is That”

Buddy Guy’s new album “Ain’t Done With the Blues” came out this weekend to coincide with his 89th birthday. Hell, that splits the difference between Donald Trump and Rupert Murdoch’s ages and the album is full of timeless, acidic commentary, which you could also take as very timely. Take this verse from “How Blues is That.”

“Enjoy.” I must say I rather did; it’s an incredible track.

Figma’s IPO reminds us markets love tech floats

Figma’s $FIG ( ▲ 5.63% ) long-awaited Initial Public Offering didn’t disappoint, delivering one of the most remarkable debuts the market has seen in recent years. After delays and much anticipation, the collaborative design platform began trading on the New York Stock Exchange late last week, and its stock soared so dramatically that trading had to be briefly halted due to market volatility.

Within the first minute of trading, Figma’s market cap hit a staggering $45 billion, with its stock price fluctuating between $101 and $124 before closing at $115.50—giving the company a $47 billion market cap by the end of the day. This was a massive leap from the $33 per share IPO price set the night before, which resulted in a significant “pop” as soon as the market opened.

Investor demand for Figma’s shares was so intense that it became somewhat of a spectacle on social media. Investors on X shared humorous images of their stock purchase orders being fulfilled by trading platforms like Robinhood. The triumphant IPO comes just two years after Adobe’s $ADBE ( ▼ 2.77% ) failed $20 billion bid to acquire Figma in 2023. A missed boat, one realizes:

Today on the ‘gram: Robot fights

Post of the day: Still here for this

Quote of the Day

Ikea and Best Buy launch new ‘shop in shop’

Best Buy $BBY ( ▼ 1.45% ) and IKEA are teaming up to launch 10 small "shop-in-shop" IKEA locations in select Best Buy stores across Florida and Texas. Announced by both companies, the pilot marks the first time IKEA products will be sold inside another U.S. retailer.

Best Buy’s new in-store IKEA spaces will focus on home design, covering kitchens, storage, and laundry solutions. Each mini-showroom will measure approximately 1,000 square feet and serve as planning centers, allowing customers to explore IKEA’s design expertise alongside Best Buy’s tech offerings.

For IKEA enthusiasts, there are a few notable limitations. There won’t be any dinner stops for Swedish meatballs, for a start. The Florida locations include towns I really hope I someday get to visit, such as Boynton Beach, Daytona Beach, Lakeland, Melbourne, and Waterford Lakes. In Texas, shops will open in Alamo Ranch, Hulen, Humble, Mesquite, and South Austin. 

If the pilot succeeds, it could redefine how large retailers collaborate to create convenient, hybrid shopping experiences. Not coming soon:

• Lowe’s x Foot Locker: Buy a ladder, get free shoelaces!

• Nordstrom x Dollar Tree: Luxe meets bargain! Buy a $300 designer jacket, and grab a matching $1 scarf at the checkout counter to balance the look.

• Apple x Tractor Supply: AirTag your chickens in real-time!

  Watch more

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👎️ 

Under no circumstances.

Nintendo posts strong profits on new Switch

Nintendo reported an 18.6% profit surge for its first fiscal quarter fueled by the successful launch of its new Switch 2 console.

The Switch 2, which debuted on June 5, sold 3.5 million units globally within just four days — marking a record pace for Nintendo consoles. “Its sales continue to be strong,” the company noted, adding that the higher price of the Switch 2 ($450 compared to $300 for the original Switch in 2017) contributed to the impressive momentum. Another way to put that is, they jacked the price and are cashing in. You choose.

Fan-favorite games like Mario Kart World and Donkey Kong Bananza are driving demand, while Pokemon Friends, designed for the older Switch and compatible with the new console, boosts the game lineup. With a hybrid design working as both a handheld and home console, the Switch 2 appeals to a broad audience.

Is your Celsius really a High Noon?

Don’t accidentally chug vodka at work. I mean, by all means, chug vodka at work. Just: Intention is key. With that in mind, fans of Celsius, the caffeinated drink synonymous with “hustle culture,” may want to check their cans closely. According to a recall notice from the FDA, an unspecified number of Celsius cans were accidentally filled with High Noon vodka seltzer instead of the usual energy-packed beverage.

The mix-up occurred after a shared packaging supplier mistakenly shipped empty Celsius cans to High Noon, leading to vodka-spiked drinks being distributed between July 21 and 23.

The FDA revealed that the mislabeled cans can be identified by a silver lid—distinct from the black lid typically found on Celsius drinks. CVS $CVS ( ▲ 0.6% ) , one of the retailers stocking the affected products, has offered customers the option to return them. Krista Fontana, a spokeswoman for High Noon, assured consumers that only a “small batch” of cans was affected. “We are working with the FDA, retailers, and distributors to proactively manage the recall to ensure the safety and well-being of our consumers,” she said, not revealing which can of which drink she chugged before drafting her remarks.

Poll of the Day: Jobs lady loses job, is that OK?