Wall Street hits new records on good(ish) inflation data

Plus: The FBI’s NBA probe puts sports betting in the spotlight.

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The winner of last week'’s world famous News Haiku™ competition is Trigram T., who had this to say about the introduction of erotica to OpenAI:

This gives new meaning,
to the rise of the machines.
I’m going back to bed.

— Trigram T.

The theme of this week's world famous News Haiku™ competition is that the FBI’s NBA betting probe has put sports betting firms in the spotlight. Rather than, you know…basketball. Which is a bit of a shame. Email me your entry by Thursday at noon for a chance to be voted on by your Cheddar peers!

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News You Need2Know

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What’s the stock market up to, eh?

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Encouraging inflation update sends Wall Street to new records

Wall Street soared to new records on Friday following promising news on inflation that reignited investor confidence. The S&P 500 climbed 1%, closing in on its all-time high set earlier this month.

The inflation update brought cautious optimism to consumers and investors alike, signaling potential relief for households grappling with rising prices. “Right now, Fed officials are more concerned about the labor market than about inflation,” Brian “No Nickname” Jacobsen, chief economist at Annex Wealth Management, told the Associated Press. The report strengthened market expectations for the Federal Reserve to cut interest rates, with traders betting on reductions at its upcoming two meetings, including one next week.

Corporate earnings also fueled the rally, as many companies exceeded profit forecasts. Procter & Gamble $PG ( ▲ 0.2% ) , maker of household staples like Charmin and Pampers, saw shares rise 1.2%, despite what CEO Jon “Ditto” Moeller described as “a challenging consumer and geopolitical environment.”

Song of the day: Brandi Carlisle, ‘Returning to Myself’

I’m a cynic. Generally. But behind every cynic there’s an emotional wreck just waiting for a pop song to cut right through them. And this bird can sing, as we say in England, and had me looping this track on repeat on Friday when it came out. Try not to cry.

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FBI’s NBA probe puts sports betting in the spotlight

The FBI’s probe into illegal sports betting involving NBA players has cast a spotlight on the multi-billion-dollar sports gambling industry and its, let’s say, potential vulnerabilities. The investigation, which led to the arrest of over 30 individuals, including Miami Heat player Terry Rozier and Portland Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups, has raised questions about the integrity of a rapidly growing market.

It also made me Google Chauncey Billups’ Detroit Pistons playoff jersey from 2004 on eBay yesterday. Get ‘em while they’re hot!

Rozier has been accused of exploiting private information about players to gain an edge in betting on NBA games. His lawyer, Jim “I’m a Lawyer” Trusty, staunchly defended his client, stating, “Terry is not a gambler and looks forward to winning this fight.” Similarly, Billups, implicated in an alleged conspiracy to rig high-stakes poker games, denied the allegations. “Chauncey is a man of integrity,” his attorney Chris “I’m an Attorney” Heywood said.

I wish I had their lawyers.

Since the Supreme Court struck down the Professional Amateur Sports Protection Act in 2018, sports betting has expanded to 38 states and Washington, D.C., generating $10 billion in revenue in 2025 alone, according to the American Gaming Association. While legal sports betting is often touted as safer than illegal practices, experts remain skeptical about potential manipulation. Marketing professor Wayne “Conventional Wisdom“ Taylor warned, “Some states are realizing just how crazy the sports betting world sort of is.”

I’ll bet on the Warriors to win the championship this year. You see this face? THIS IS THE FACE I AM PULLING INSIDE TODAY.

And that’s where our attention should really be focused. On Steph Curry’s face. PHLEX!

Today on the ‘gram: Amazon’s AI glasses!

Post of the day: Bob and Chuck had a time…

Quote of the Day

It does not match the affordability crisis we are having right now.

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A pardon for Binance founder Changpeng Zhao

Donald Trump has issued a presidential pardon for Binance $BNB.X ( ▲ 0.84% ) founder Changpeng “Pardon Me“ Zhao, just weeks after Zhao was sentenced to four months in prison for enabling money laundering on the crypto exchange. The move has sparked mixed reactions, reigniting debates about the intersection of politics, cryptocurrency, and, uh, let’s say, justice.

White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said: “President Trump exercised his constitutional authority by issuing a pardon for Mr. Zhao, who was prosecuted by the Biden Administration in their war on cryptocurrency.”

The Justice Department’s investigation into Binance revealed that the platform facilitated transactions for cybercriminals and other bad actors, leading to a massive $4 billion fine against the exchange, along with a $50 million fine for Zhao himself. Then–Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen previously criticized Binance’s practices, saying its “willful failures allowed money to flow to terrorists, cybercriminals, and child abusers through its platform.”

The New York Times is a real killjoy about all this:

To seek the pardon, Mr. Zhao hired lawyers and lobbyists with ties to the Trump administration, while Binance struck a business deal with World Liberty Financial, the Trump family’s crypto start-up. That deal alone is poised to generate tens of millions of dollars a year for the Trumps and the family of Steve Witkoff, the president’s top Middle East adviser.

Despite backlash, Zhao expressed gratitude on social media, “Deeply grateful for today’s pardon and to President Trump for upholding America’s commitment to fairness, innovation, and justice.”

Trump’s pardon comes amidst his controversial alignment with the crypto industry during his 2024 election campaign. A Binance spokesperson praised the decision, declaring, “We thank President Trump for his leadership and for his commitment to make the U.S. the crypto capital of the world.”

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️ 

Yes, indeed.

Social Security recipients get a 2.8% cost-of-living boost

The Social Security Administration is offering a monthly average increase of about $56 for retirees next year. The inflation-based boost aims to help recipients keep pace with rising living costs, but seniors and experts are voicing concerns about its adequacy in meeting economic realities.

Linda Deas, an 80-year-old retiree from Florence, South Carolina, expressed frustration that the increase does little to address escalating daily expenses. “It does not match the affordability crisis we are having right now,” Deas said, noting that her monthly rent has risen by $400 and grocery prices continue climbing. Her sentiment aligns with findings from the AARP, which revealed that only 22% of Americans aged 50+ believe the COLA is sufficient, while 77% disagree — an opinion shared across political affiliations.

AARP CEO Myechia Minter-Jordan described the COLA as “a lifeline of independence and dignity,” but acknowledged that seniors “still face challenges covering basic expenses.” Emerson Sprick from the Bipartisan Policy Center echoed these concerns, emphasizing that “cost-of-living increases can’t solve all the financial challenges households face or all the shortcomings of the program.”

Meanwhile, broader fears loom over Social Security’s solvency, with experts warning that by 2034, funds may only cover 81% of promised benefits. I “plan” to “retire” in 2050, for what it’s worth.

Microsoft launches AI browser

Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 2.58% ) has revamped its Edge browser with enhanced AI capabilities just two days after OpenAI unveiled its own ChatGPT-powered browser, Atlas. The competition underscores the growing battle to dominate the "AI browser" space, which promises to transform online navigation and task automation.

Microsoft’s new “Copilot Mode” positions Edge as “your AI browser.” Mustafa Suleyman, CEO of Microsoft AI, highlighted the intuitive nature of Copilot Mode, saying, “The assistant can see and reason over your open tabs … and even take actions like booking a hotel or filling out forms.” 

Our corporate cousins at TechCrunch described Microsoft’s relaunch as “nearly identical” to Atlas, signaling fierce industry competition. Both companies stress user control over privacy, with tools to manage data use and opt-in functionality, ensuring AI agents work seamlessly while safeguarding user information.

Poll of the day: $56 a month should do it, right?

Is a 2.8% increase in Social Security payments adequate to cover the increase in your cost of living?

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