Wall Street whips back upward

Plus: Tesla's sales in Europe fall by half; AND a second crypto bro is charged with alleged torture and kidnapping

Author

Matt Davis
May 28, 2025

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Hello, my most beloved subscribers!

A funny thing happened to me at church on Sunday. The rector’s wife said she’d suddenly realized I was “THE” Matt Davis of the Cheddar newsletter which she has been delightedly reading every day for years. Indeed I am. Hi, Stacey! Also: Sorry we dropped the cheese puns. I promise I’m lobbying for them to brie right back. Also I’m now even gladder this newsletter has remained profanity-free over recent months.

News you Need2Know

Lead us not into temptation…

—Matt Davis, Need2Know Chedditor

Companies mentioned in today’s newsletter

Wall Street whips back upward after Trump pauses more tariffs

Wall Street rallied on Tuesday following President Donald Trump’s decision to delay a 50% tariff increase on goods from the European Union. The S&P 500 $SPX ( ▲ 0.4% ) rose 1.9%.

Technology stocks led the surge, with Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 3.25% ) shares rallying 3.2% ahead of its upcoming profit report. The tariff delay, pushed back from June 1 to July 9, provided relief to markets and renewed hope for a potential trade agreement between the U.S. and the EU. The EU’s chief trade negotiator expressed optimism, stating he had “good calls” with U.S. officials and that the EU was “fully committed” to reaching a deal by July 9.

Earlier in May, Trump had delayed tariffs on Chinese goods, which similarly sparked a significant market rally. However, caution looms over Wall Street, as the unpredictability of trade policy continues to pose risks to business and consumer spending.

Still, Tuesday’s trading showed widespread gains, bolstered by improving consumer sentiment in May, marking the first increase in six months.

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*This counts as journalism, right?

Salesforce spends $8 billion to buy data firm Informatica

Salesforce $CRM ( ▼ 3.3% ) has decided to hand over an eye-watering $8 billion for Informatica $INFA ( ▼ 0.78% ) , an AI-powered cloud data management company. Apparently, this acquisition will open magical doors to Informatica's "data management capabilities." Translation: Salesforce now officially owns another buzzword-heavy company that makes businesses drool over words like "cloud," "AI," and "data."

Informatica, a company with quite the dramatic history (it’s been private, then public, then private, then public again), is delighted by the news. CEO Amit Walia said: “Joining forces with Salesforce represents a significant leap forward in our journey to bring data and AI to life.” It’s all about “empowering businesses with the transformative power of their most critical asset — their data,” he said.

Robin Washington, Salesforce’s president and COO, said the deal will help both companies charge forward in fields like health care and financial services. Informatica’s stock jumped 5.7% after the news. Salesforce’s shares rose slightly, a sign that investors are “meh” about all this.

Today on the ‘gram: Can it make car sales go up 50%?

Post of the day: Sen. Dick Durbin slams Trump’s Putin post

Quote of the Day

❝

Joining forces with Salesforce represents a significant leap forward in our journey to bring data and AI to life.

Tesla's European sales nearly cut in half

According to the latest data, Tesla’s $TSLA ( ▲ 0.43% ) European sales slumped 49% in April compared to last year. The numbers are the latest indication of how much the Tesla brand is suffering because of political backlash against billionaire CEO Elon Musk over his far-right views.

Tesla also faces other factors including an aging model lineup and intensifying competition from rival electric vehicle brands, particularly from China.

Sales of Tesla vehicles in 32 European countries tumbled 49% to 7,261 in April from 14,228 in the same month the previous year, according to the figures released by the European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association, or ACEA. Sales at China’s SAIC (discount Tesla rival) zoomed up 54% in April, according to the figures. SAIC owns a slew of auto brands including U.K.-based MG, known for its low-cost EV models.

Musk had nothing to say about the news on Tuesday, instead retweeting a poem about compassion written by his AI bot, Grok, which recently spewed racist disinformation about “white genocide” in South Africa after somebody hacked it.

Should you check your 401(k) today?

👍️ 

Yes.

Second crypto investor is charged with kidnapping and torturing

In a story that feels ripped straight from a twisted action thriller, the cryptocurrency world has once again found itself in the headlines — but not for record-breaking prices. Instead, the drama comes courtesy of a pair of alleged crypto criminals who apparently thought the best way to access someone’s Bitcoin wallet was through old-school kidnapping and torture.

According to reports, William Duplessie, 32, and fellow "crypto enthusiast" John Woeltz allegedly kidnapped a 28-year-old Italian national in Manhattan and subjected him to a horrifying 17-day ordeal. Their alleged goal? To extract the password to his Bitcoin account. High-tech crimes call for high-tech solutions — or, in this case, shockingly low-tech methods. The victim reported enduring everything from being pistol-whipped and shocked with electrical wires to being forced to smoke from a crack pipe. Nothing says "give us your password" better, in my experience.

The harrowing saga finally ended when the victim escaped from the lavish SoHo townhouse — one of Manhattan’s priciest addresses — and flagged down a traffic cop. If nothing else, this proves the importance of good-old human resilience and luck, even in the world of cryptocurrency.

Police later uncovered a treasure trove of items at the crime scene, ranging from ammunition and body armor to Polaroids of the victim.

The French Open is picking human line judges over electronic ones

In an age where technology is quietly infiltrating every corner of our lives, the French Open stands as a bastion of tradition in the tennis world, sticking with its human line judges amidst a sea of change.

For many players, including tennis titan Novak Djokovic, this approach is no longer cricket, er, tennis. "I’m more of a proponent of technology. It’s just more accurate, saves time, and...less people on the court," he said.

Wimbledon moved to an automatic system this year, but the clay court spectacle at Roland Garros clings to its century-old method. As the president of the French Tennis Federation, Gilles Moretton, stated, "Unless the players are unanimous and come to us and say, ‘We won’t play if there isn’t a machine’...then I think we’ve got a great future ahead of us to maintain this style of refereeing."

Coco Gauff said: "I mean, I don’t know if it’s like the ‘Gen Z’ in me, but I think if we have the technology, we should use it."

I should, Coco. Next thing you know, those crypto bros will be kidnapping line judges and forcing them to smoke crack for their passwords.

Poll of the Day!

Who's a better line judge at the French Open in tennis?

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Poll Results:

We asked: How do you feel about Trump's threatened tariffs on Europe?

You answered:

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I'm glad he's standing up for America. (78 votes)

 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 I'm annoyed he's tanking my 401(k). (719 votes)

797 Votes — via @beehiiv polls

Coming soon: The Disruptors

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